Sunday, May 17, 2015

Oh STFU, Sherman Williams

Oh yes, you are the Hero of the Household  (or, more to the point, Hero of the Vast, Cavernous Mansion that guy you sold yourself to provided in exchange for regular meals, free sex, a clean house and heirs arriving every couple of years.)  You got that label by never, ever complaining about being asked to do all that cooking and cleaning and copulating and reproducing even when Hubby sprung the "hey, as long as you are just at home all day Doing Nothing While I Earn The Paycheck, why can't you do the painting, too?"

Except, I simply cannot use the word "hero" to describe you, MommyWife.  Because you bought in to all this.  Nothing stopped you from building your own life and career, buying your own house, and then painting it any color you wanted during otherwise leisurely weekends with the boyfriend or girlfriend or just on your own, without juggling all that other crap that Sherman-Williams seems to think qualify as "heroic."  In fact, I'll come right out and say that I'm more comfortable calling you a simpering little coward who sold her life for the easy route as handmaiden to a guy and chief cook and bottle washer to kids.

Congratulations for the massive house.  No medal, though- we reserve those for actual Heroes.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, this ad is obnoxious, all right. The only thing missing is the music that should really be used as the jingle: ''Cuz you're a WOOOOOMAAAAAN--W-O-M-A-N!" "You can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, crumble it up and spackle it to your freshly painted walls, and never let your husband forget he's a maaaaan!"

    These ads that try to make women feel empowered when they are actually turning into miserable drones expected to "do it all" for their husband and kids are so dishonest. But do try to have a little sympathy for the woman involved. It's quite possible that she got sucked in with lies about how of course her man would do his share of the housework and repairs and taking care of the kids and cooking and chauffeuring and all that...but it somehow just didn't turn out that way because, you know, women just understand all that stuff so much better and he can just never remember his kid's birthday or what he likes packed in his lunch and she's just so good at that and his employer won't give him time off for dealing with home stuff so can she just be the one who leaves work to pick up the kid from school if he gets sick...aggghhh.