Thursday, October 1, 2015

This McDonalds Ad's Lost Dialogue

"What's this?  Oh, how nice- a greasy, cold sandwich you picked up at the McDonalds drive-thru twenty minutes ago.  Aren't you all that and a bag of chips.  Gosh, what did I do to deserve an awesome guy like you?"

"I mean, I could have made a bad choice and married someone who made enough money so I wouldn't have to work 8-hour shifts at a freaking toll booth, breathing in carbon monoxide all day, grateful to be handed a soggy sandwich straight off the dollar menu at McDonalds.  Wouldn't that have been awful- to live in a nice house like those people in all the commercials who actually have time to eat breakfast at home instead of in an f---ing booth where they are being handed money from germy idiots who still haven't figured out what EZPASS stands for!"

"And oh, thanks for saving paper by not picking me up a napkin- there's plenty of running water in this walk-in closet I spend every day in.  And speaking of water, what am I supposed to wash this salty crap down with?  What, a $1 cup of coffee not in the budget, Mr. I'll Provide For You I Promise?"

"BTW, you didn't have to take 'For Better or For Worse' literally.  I sure didn't.  First guy who offers me something more appetizing than this sandwich, I'm jumping in his car and never looking back.  'See you at home?'  Maybe.  But don't be so damned sure, Mr. Born Romantic Big Spender."

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