Saturday, January 30, 2016
At Tysons, it's all about the effort
This commercial would have been so much better if that kid's "thank you for going all out on reheating pre-cooked fried chicken parts" speech had been snark. Little sister could have added "and the Pillsbury canned biscuits really put an accent on the love, mom!"
Then dad could have stopped playing piano long enough to throw in with "hey, that looks like actual salad she's serving up, too! That must have taken upwards of two minutes to get out of the bag into the bowl, and who do you think put the dressing on the table? We should all give Mom a big round of applause for using the spacious, well-equipped kitchen she has with such awesome effect! Way to go, Mom!"
Then mom could have given her whole family the middle finger before announcing "screw all this, I'm going back to school! Kids- the piano man can do the cooking from now on. Get ready for a steady menu of Stouffer's Pot Pies and Hot Pockets."
Then the children who, after all, simply don't know any better having been raised by these two jackasses, give eachother high-fives and suggest that dad eases into his new role slowly by ordering online at PapaJohns tomorrow night. Hey, we can try that new pizza-sized chocolate chip cookie while we're at it!