Saturday, May 21, 2016
Just Another Day With Stupid Men and Stupid Women in Suburbia....
Can someone please explain to me how the alleged "adults" in this ad managed to land jobs which allow them to participate in this lifestyle, with huge houses and swimming pools in the middle of the suburbs, despite the fact that they obviously don't have two brain cells to rub against eachother in the entire freaking group?
The female grown-ups (that's actually more accurate than "adults," isn't it?) in this ad are busy checking out their family health care coverage in expectation that their husbands are about to do something almost unbelievably stupid and get themselves seriously- and expensively- hurt. There are two assumptions at play here- first, that whatever the jagoff "men" (that is CERTAINLY not an accurate description) are attempting to do, at least it's not expected to be fatal. Second, that there is absolutely nothing the women here can do to prevent the men from attempting it.*
(Of course, there's a third option- that the women here simply don't give a damn if the guys they chose to legally bind themselves to get hurt, as long as they're covered, or that they already know they've got great life insurance so if they do kill themselves, no problem.)
The males in this ad- 12 year olds in fortysomething bodies, each one- are so bored out of their minds with their suburban lives and suburban families and suburban friends, they've decided to do something that would never have occurred to them a few years earlier, when they actually enjoyed being alive and looked to the future with hope. Their current situation is so sad that they are more than willing to risk massive trauma, possible paralysis, or even death because hey any of those things would be better than this.
So in the sequel to this awfulness, I suppose we'll be treated to hi-LARIOUS scenes with these men sucking meals out of straws while confined to high-tech wheelchairs as their wives wipe drool off their chins while rolling their eyes with "that's my husband" written all over their faces (rather than spoken out loud, as in this ad.) Someone will find this funny. Which means we can expect to see more of these Bored Rich Guys Doing Things Only Bored Rich Guys Do commercials. I strongly suspect we won't see a Women Doing Dumb, Dangerous Things counterpart, because that's not what happens in ads these days (in the 1950s and 60s and 70s, yes. Nowadays, no.)
*"Which Urgent Care do you want to use this time?" is the giveaway. This is just a typical weekend for these women. Because they married children who could provide them with luxury. I don't feel sorry for anyone in this ad.