Sunday, July 10, 2016
I guess this is what you do when you've exhausted the "leafs" you can find under your name on Ancestory.com-- take the next step in digital navel-gazing by sending a vial of spit to this company so they can let you know where your dead relatives lived once. And then sit back and genuflect on how totally awesome it is that you've received confirmation that once upon a time people you share genetic code with wandered around on the other side of the planet, never realizing that some day one of their ancestors would be a bored, self-indulgent idiot willing to spend money to confirm that they did not spring from the head of Zeus but are actually related to people who are now dead.
Now be sure to post all of this fascinating "information" on Facebook, because gosh all your virtual friends really, really want to know. And when you wake up in a cold sweat realizing that you just PAID to hand a DNA sample over to a private company, well, I suggest warm milk to help you get back to sleep. If that doesn't work, try Ancestory.com again- they are always updating those leafs, you know.