Saturday, July 23, 2016

This is your life, for as long as you can keep the wrinkles away....

This is your morning.  Get up while it's still dark and leave the guy you sold yourself to in bed.  Don't make too much noise, he has no reason get up.  But you sure do.

This is the house and lifestyle you sold yourself for.  It's not any port in a storm.  It's not even a palatial estate. It's a ridiculously pretentious mansion- but hey, you're cute, and you were never going to come cheap, were you?

This is your workout.  Get your butt on that bike as the sun begins to creep over the mountains and start sweating, honey.  Work those abs and sweat off that 1 percent body fat he may very well notice if you keep it around for another day.  Because this is the way any woman would want to start her morning, right?

This is the rest of your day.  Greet the kids you gave that guy.  Yes, you were cute and available, so you passed the first test.  The second test was being fertile.  The third was to keep being cute and tight.  Doesn't hurt if you have breakfast on the table on time every day, either.

This is your life. Keep quiet and fertile and toned, and you get to keep that house, Trophy Wife.  Maybe it's not a bad bargain for you.  I don't know your circumstances.  But when the sun isn't quite up tomorrow and you realize it's time to kill yourself trying to stay in your early-20s while your husband blissfully ages at a respectable pace and you really don't want to, just remember- babysitters come in Cute, and sometimes they are looking for any port in a storm, and that really is some house.  I bet that will be motivation enough.

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