Friday, October 20, 2017
Hanes' Smellfie ad just murdered my soul*
Ok, let's just go with the idea that there's something called "the Smellfies," and it involves emitting foul body odor at very inconvenient times, like when you show up for a date or are at a wedding or actually pretty much any time you are in public.
You COULD just take regular showers, use deodorant, and make sure you are wearing clean clothes and not just whatever you found piled up at the foot of your bed this morning. You COULD do that. But that's a really low-tech, 20th century solution, something your parents might have done. It's practically 2018, so....
What you should do now to "Stop the Smellfies" is invest in Hanes High-Tech BO-inhibiting undergarments. Sure, it costs more than their regular t-shirts and underwear, but if you wear that stuff you have to go back to bathing regularly and using deodorant, like your parents did. You want to be like your parents? You want to keep clean?
Didn't think so. Buy this stuff, and continue to revel in being a dirty, sweaty slob who lost your ability to practice basic hygiene around the same time you lost your ability to carry on an actual conversation that didn't involve emojis. The world you're stinking the hell out of? You're welcome to it. And if you're on the fence about being a customer for Advanced Tech Anti-Stink underclothes? Just take a freaking shower, hippie!
*Silver lining: The Youtube commenters hate this ad almost as much as I do. That's got to count for something.