Tuesday, October 29, 2019

GoMedicare Benefits HelpRipYouOffCenter Ad.....




...which has absolutely NOTHING to do with Medicare except that the extremely popular government program is being used to create a veneer of respectability on to yet another scumbag insurance company seeking to prey on the elderly and the ill-informed.

Let's imagine that I'm the owner of one of these fly-by-night barrel-scraping plagues on humanity; how would I go about using the criminally under-regulated airwaves and the Rendered-Toothless-By-Forty-Years-Of-Reaganesque-Laissez-Faire Legislation Federal Trade Commission to pry money out of the people who have highest level of anxiety and lowest level of information among the populace?  Well, first I'll use the word "Medicare," because no matter how little the average Senior Citizen Daytime TV viewer knows about federal assistance they are ALL aware of Medicare and practically all of them derive benefit from it.  As I wrote in the first paragraph, the mere mention of Medicare creates an instant bond of trust between the company that purchased the commercial and the viewer:

"Oh, he said Medicare.  I know Medicare works.  I know it's totally legitimate.  And I can't read those little words that say 'not affiliated with any government program, so I'm going to just listen to the nice man with the earnest voice tell me something about Medicare and I'm very much inclined to accept what he's saying because he started off by saying Medicare."

(It's very important that I call my company something like "GoMedicare," or "MedicareAdvanced," or something official-sounding like that- I'm using the word "Medicare" so it must be legit, the government would totally NEVER let anyone use the word "Medicare" unless was some kind of official program- except of course for that disclaimer that the viewer couldn't read and also remember that toothless FTC thing.)

(While I'm at it, I'm going to put something that looks very much like an official Medicare card on the screen, because that's also very familiar to the viewer and will make him think this is totally legitimate.)

Then I'll remind the elderly viewer that Medicare is limited in what it will pay for- something most people on Medicare already know.  Medicare is awesome but it includes co-pays for prescriptions and doctor appointments and hospital visits.  So now I'll suggest that if they use my program they'll get BETTER Medicare- motorized scooters and wheelchairs, private hospital rooms, etc.- and it will just cost them a few extra dollars a month, so worth it to bring those Medicare benefits up to a Level They Deserve, right?

I will not EVER use the word "insurance" in my ad unless it's connected to the word "Medicare."  "Medicare Insurance" sounds ok, but I think I'd rather just call it "GoMedicare Benefits," because "GoMedicare" sounds just like "Medicare" and absolves me of any responsibility if the viewer failed to get the difference (which I am hoping happens a lot.)  Plus, seniors understand they are entitled to "Benefits" already- telling people who are already getting benefits that they are entitled to MORE benefits is totally plausible.

In the end, I'm selling junk insurance to the elderly by piggy-backing onto the popularity of Medicare.   "Call now and see if you qualify?"  If you already qualify for Medicare Benefits, why would you not qualify for GoMedicare Benefits?  Because you aren't calling to see if you qualify for Medicare Benefits, but if you qualify for a policy with an insurance company called GoHealth which never- not even once- tells you it's name in any of it's ads.  Or that it's website home page is devoted to "helping" people qualify for "ObamaCare"  (old people get shafted by tv commercials, younger people get conned online thank you very much.)  And in the end, I'm just trying to scoop as much money you can't afford into my own pocket because I'm just a soulless creep who had his empathy surgically removed with his wisdom teeth.

7 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, I was in Vermont over break and I did get to see some of these ads, they always show up during daytime tv, obviously reaching out to housebound seniors. Appreciate the suggestion and link.

      Delete
  2. I agree with a lot of the points you made in this article. If you are looking for the Medicare Software Online, then visit PPMP. I appreciate the work you have put into this and hope you continue writing on this subject.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for sharing the best information and suggestions, I love your content, and they are very nice and very useful to us. If you are looking for the best Medicare Claiming Software, then visit PPMP. I appreciate the work you have put into this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks For your Articles. This is a wonderful Medicare Apotheke, Given so much info in it, These type of articles keeps the user's interest in the website, and keep on sharing more ... good luck. subtle signs he's not into you. Medicare Apotheke

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your commercials are over-the-top, both in terms of flooding the air waves to an enormous extent, the ridiculous length of your commercials and the shouting which is extremely irritating.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with a lot of the points you made in this article. If you are looking for the Doctor Gold Coast, then visit Medical on Miami. I love your content, they are very nice and very useful to us and this text is worth everyone’s attention.

    ReplyDelete