Sunday, December 27, 2020

Geico runs out of plausible ideas in record time


This is sad even for Geico, the masters of the beaten-to-death ad campaign. 

Remember those people who had a "clogging problem," and it turned out that it was their upstairs neighbors wearing clogs and dancing constantly?  Remember how we were able to ignore the fact that their problem was not one that any insurance could handle, because we were so amused at the play on words?  

And by "we," I mean, of course, "you," because you're all morons?

Remember those other people who had a "rat problem," and it turned out that the 80s rock group Ratt was hanging out in their kitchen?  That made infinitely less sense, because-- well, it's their house, right?  Can't they just kick Ratt out of it any time they want?  Call the police, whatever?  Oh, never mind- it didn't bother you, because Hey It's Ratt and they were popular back when I was young so it's all good!

(And again, by "I" I mean "you.")

Well, THIS family has a "fencing problem."  Except, they don't for most of the ad.  Their neighbors are into fencing.  This is bizarre to the central characters in this commercial, and I don't know why.  Their neighbors like to fence.  That means they are playing with swords.  They aren't dealing in stolen goods, and they aren't erecting fences on anyone else's property.  I don't quite see how this is anyone's "problem," unless these people think that they have the right to police the harmless activities of their neighbors who, by the way, aren't asking for permission to f---ing FENCE.

Ah, but here's where it becomes a "problem" that actually CAN be solved, though not with Geico insurance:  the fencing neighbors are suddenly right in their face, ON THEIR PATIO, IN THEIR DRIVEWAY, doing their fencing thing.  That's when you call- no, not Geico- but the F--ING POLICE.  Or at LEAST the Homeowner's Association.  Because these jackasses are TRESPASSING.  Maybe not quite as blatantly as Ratt, but they are STILL TRESPASSING.  So why are you idiots just rolling your eyes and looking perplexed?  Get on the phone to your local police or use your Second Amendment Freedoms and end your fencing problem, you morons!

Ok, rant over.  Back to my thesis.  Sure didn't take long for Geico to run out of hi-larious "problems" for people to deal with in these ads, did it?  And it isn't at all surprising that, having run out of ideas, they are just going to keep plowing forward, is it?


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