Friday, December 25, 2020

The message of the Mercedes Benz "Plushie" ad(s)

 


I'm going to ignore the fact that this plushie thing is drawn to the almost religious majesty of the Mercedes Benz just sitting in its glorious isolation in the middle of a crappy trucker's diner parking lot (which is absolutely where you'd expect to find a Mercedes Benz.)

Instead, let's look at the real moral of the story:  Hey, kids:  If you find yourself walking out of a greasy spoon diner heading back to your Mercedes Benz and you see what looks like a dirty, limp wounded animal in the road, you should immediately pick it up and hold it next to your face.  Then you should take it home with you. 

Keep in mind, you should only do these things if your parents are the owners of a Mercedes Benz and you live in a magical world where absolutely everything is perfect and nothing that happens to Real People living on the Real Planet Earth could ever happen to you.   If you attempt this and you aren't one of those people, please drop by the nearest Emergency Room on your way home for your rabies shots or, at the very least, salmonella treatments. 

In short, my advice to 99 percent of people out there:  Do Not Attempt.  And my advice to the other One Percent:  Please, Attempt Away.  Pick up that dirty, injured little living thing.*  Go for it.  Nothing bad could ever happen to you.

*Yes, I know it's just supposed to be an abandoned toy and this is all supposed to be super-heartwarming because a piece of cheap fabric stuffed with rags has Found a New Home with some rich kid whose mom will be throwing it back into the trash inside of a week when that kid has lost interest in that wet, dirty, germy thing she found in the parking lot.  Sure doesn't work for me, though.  Especially when it's so easy to imagine some kid watching this and trying to rescue that sweet little injured raccoon with the cute eyes daddy ran over with the Lincoln Navigator while on his way to the brokerage this morning. 

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