Sunday, April 22, 2012

Calling Dave Ramsey!!

I think I know what everyone's favorite Prosperity Gospel Advocate would say to this guy's problem.

Mr. Free Credit Report thought that he was marrying his dream girl, but didn't realize that he was also marrying her massive credit card debt.  So instead of setting up in a nice little suburban castle, he's living in her mom and dad's basement.  While they dig their way out from under her little "Sorry I Forgot To Mention This During Those Two Years We Were Dating Hon" secret.

He's taking this really, really well, taking comfort in his guitar and his ability to make up a song about the Thoughtless, Deceitful Jerk Who Conned Him Into Marriage as she does laundry.   Well, that's kind of sweet, actually- he's not letting a little thing like LYING get in the way of marital bliss.  On the other hand, I get a rather negative vibe from the bride, as if it's the guy's fault that she ran up all these bills and didn't tell him about it. (Wouldn't surprise me at all, really.  Isn't it always the guy's fault?)

All of this could have been avoided if only he had done the sensible thing and called and asked for the scoop on his Intended.  Except- is that the way it works?  Can a fiancee actually call and ask for privileged information?  How does one go about proving that one is about to become legally attached to another person, and therefore ought to get access to sensitive financial data like this?  I seriously doubt that the credit report companies would give this guy the time of day before the actual legal ceremony, and maybe not even then, either.

I feel kind of bad for saying this too, but-- hey buddy, unless this girl is pregnant, it seems to me that you've got grounds for an annulment, no problem.  This isn't the 18th century, after all.  Take it from me, "For Better or For Worse" doesn't mean what it used to, and "'Till Death Do Us Part" is just a cutesy phrase they still use on Soap Opera Weddings (they mean a lot in that context too, don't they?)   This woman LIED to you in order to get your name on her debt.  You think that's the only problem she has, and everything will be fine once you've spent two years delivering pizzas on the weekends in addition to your full-time job in order to pay down that debt?  If that's the case, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you.  My guess is that the moment the books are squared, she'll show you the door, sucker.

No, I'm not going to recommend Financial Peace University to my friend with the guitar.  After all, he's not the one with the money issues, unless he wants to be.  I think he'd be a lot better off just getting in touch with an attorney.  Because hey, stupid- if your dream girl would lie about something like credit card debt, she's probably hiding a lot of other crap, too.  Get out before she starts popping offspring!


  1. Speaking of 'For Better Or For Worse', I can think of several fictional Canadians who would not only not dump this bitch, they'd bleat about the cruelty of not absorbing the debt of a moron. After all, if it was good enough for John Patterson, it's good enough for them.

  2. I know you don't do requests, but can you riff on one of the airline commercials (I forget which one it is per se, but it's got a purple backdrop, horrible acting and ridiculous claims)? It'd be a huge favor, thanks!

    1. I do requests on occasion- can you provide a link to the video? I don't recognize the commercial.

  3. You need to provide your SS# and, on the sites I've used in the past, confirm information about your past, such as places you've lived, cars you've owned, past creditors, etc. If I found out my SO had obtained my credit history (getting the score costs extra), I'd dump their ass and ring the police to find out if I had grounds for pressing charges.

    In the majority of situations, there's no reason to be surprised about your SOs attitude toward money and how responsible with it they are. Pay attention to their spending and saving habits. Talk with them about financial matters before legally binding yourself to them to make sure you and they are on the same wavelength.

    I wouldn't recommend Financial Peace University, either, at least not for the pair. Her, yes. For both of them, marriage counseling.

  4. What always got me about this commercial is that the guy obviously had his own place already, so why aren't they living there? I mean, he wouldn't lose the place he already has just because her credit is bad. Unless he was also still living with his parents, in which case, he has no right to complain.