Friday, April 13, 2012
I don't think "Well Done" really fits here, Totinos
I mean, first of all, this mom has raised at least one incredibly helpless kid. Lacking a "find the frozen poison" App, the kid needs his mom's turn by turn directions to locate the box of precooked junk in a freezer containing exactly six items. Hey mom, maybe Home Schooling wasn't the best option for your offspring....just saying, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree....
You really think it's safe for this boy to use the toaster oven without adult supervision?
Second, she doesn't tell her kid where the fresh fruits and vegetables are. Or the whole grain bread and peanut butter. Or the popcorn, the yogurt, or any number of other healthy choices she might have suggested. Nope, she points them right to something called Totinos Pizza Rolls, which we can all assume contains a full week's supply of all the major food groups- fat, salt, artificial colors and flavors, the works.
Finally, she had better hope that the kid she once referred to as her Little Miracle (when he wasn't just "The Bundle") doesn't have any more tough questions, like "we can't find the bathroom" or "hey there's nothing on tv" or "there are these weird, hot orange things coming out of the stove, what's that all about?" Because Boy Genius has just left his phone in the freezer.
Yeah, you got a real winner there, Mom. Guess I can't blame you for feeding him fatty garbage. The first step to starting over, after all, is letting go.