Monday, June 18, 2012
And what do we fill Corrals with? These hicks certainly fit the bill
"It makes me feel like a kid again." Well, you've certainly retained the same IQ score, haven't you?
"This must be one of those Golden Corral things..." yeah, that's a good guess- showy, cheap non-food inbred troglodytes like you are encouraged to ruin your appetite on instead of consuming the meatloaf, mac n' cheese, fried chicken and grade-B "steak" (which is also showy, cheap non-food, so I'm not quite sure what my point is here.) Sounds like Golden Corral to me, too.
Seriously- are Golden Corral commercials SUPPOSED to be funny? Each and every one of them features easily entertained High School dropouts and their drooling, idiot spawn who like nothing better than to spend an evening filling their plates with warm junk that's already been picked over by hicks who got there first. And last year, this All You Can Scarf feed pen introduced the "jaw dropping" chocolate "Wonderfall"- an endless river of Hershey syrup the fat yokels are encouraged to stick marshmallows, fruit and macaroons into instead of filling their plates with greasy junk for a fourth time. Apparently the CEO of Golden Corral decided that this thing wasn't saving his company quite enough money, so now America's Favorite Slop Trough has added a cotton candy machine- something else for the (literally) unwashed masses to stick their hands in and consume instead of meat, potatoes and assorted white flour carbs. Very appetizing.
Personally, if I were the guy picking up the bill for the herd enjoying (snigger) a night out at GC, I'd be pretty damned angry if my guests were spending all their time consuming chocolate-drenched cookies and cotton candy at $10 a plate. Then again, what would I be doing bringing people I care about to this place to begin with?
And so we leave these fat, ignorant, tasteless examples of America at it's Best to gaze in wonder at the chocolate syrup and the Just Stick Your Hand In There With Everyone Else cotton candy machine. Go to it, loathsome knuckle-dragging bottom-feeders. Sure, your eating habits are appalling and you are setting a horrible example for your children and you're putting a tremendous strain on the health care system. But at least you are finding a way to keep amused as the world falls apart without f--ing around with your cell phones. That's something, anyway.