Saturday, June 9, 2012

If all Mormon girls are as cute as this Mom, maybe I should look into converting

There are a dozen or more of these Mormons Are Really Cool Just Like You Think People who share Your Religion Are ads out there, most of them conveniently located on a YouTube channel nobody ever looks at, but some of which actually make their way on to regular television to compete with My Life Is My Phone commercials.  I can't help but think that their sudden appearance just might have something to do with a certain right-of-center political personality aiming for the White House this autumn.

No, not the President.  The other right-of-center guy- the one who is a Republican.  Wait, that doesn't work either....I mean, the white guy. 

All of these commercials have the same theme- a Daddy and his Child are having an awesome time together playing some game which requires use of the imagination and not an X-Box and also requires that they be in the same room at the same time- so far, so good. They are sword fighting or fighting space aliens or exploring new worlds or whatever.  Ultimately they are interrupted by Mom, who wants to let them know that dinner is ready, or that they risk waking up the baby- but unlike in pretty much every other commercial for stuff that has nothing to do with being a Mormon, Mom is not upset or irritated at their play (for one thing, she's too busy feeding the baby or cooking the food, which is all mommies are supposed to be doing when they aren't producing the next generation.)

I think that the message here is supposed to be "Mormons are Normal."  Except if it is, these ads are all total fails.  Hey, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints- if you want to present Mormons as being Just Like The Rest of Us, here's what you do:

Show dad doing something really stupid while ignoring his kids which are, after all, Mommy's responsibility.

Show kids talking and texting and watching videos on tiny screens.  While rolling their eyes at their parents (that is, when they deign to acknowledge their existence at all.)

Show Mommy- well, actually, you've got Mommy down pretty good here.  Maybe tone down the Delighted to be a Mommy Look just a bit.  Have her sneer something hurtful at Daddy.  That would be a bit more realistic.  Otherwise, you are doing fine.

And good luck with the whole Romney thing, too.  Because my opinion of Political Parties matches up with my opinion of Organized Religions- they serve as security blankets for some, a way to break people into tribes and give them a reason to hate each other for others.  The parties are just a little younger than most, that's all.


  1. Family and family time is HUGE with Mormons. Family is forever, after all. Literally. After you die, you'll be reunited in whatever the Mormon concept of heaven is (it's a multi-level place I don't understand) and be gods that rule over other planets. Or something like that. They're very, very good at making themselves look like what they believe is in line with mainstream Christianity and they use a lot of the same Christian vocabulary, but the way they understand the death of Christ is very different from how a Christian understands the death of Christ. Joseph Smith pulled some really crazy stuff out of his butt.

    1. One of the odder concepts (and one that's really infuriating to a lot of people) is post-mortem conversion. That's right. According to the LDS, you can become a Mormom after you die.

  2. You think Obama is right from center? You need to reset your bearings. Set center to Bob Dole, not Vladimr Lenin.

  3. Maybe I'm cofused. Right means conservative, or at least I tought so. Conservative means you believe in equality of opportunity. Everyone gets a shot, though some will miss. Liberals believe in equality of outcome. No one really gets a shot. the government just walks the arrow up to the target, and lands it in a score of 5.

  4. "Liberals believe in equality of outcome..."

    Yes, you're confused. Liberals believe in equality of opportunity, but don't think that the richest country in the world should let people suffer just because they fail to achieve success on their own.

    They also don't believe in unrestricted Capitalism- that's what we had in the late 19th century, when children lost fingers in machines, adults were buried in mine explosions, burned by molten steel, poisoned by bad meat...all for the benefit of the 1 percent under the guise of Economic Freedom.

    Seriously, give Mark Levin a rest. He's not educating you.

  5. I don't listen to Mark Levin. Ever.

    How much money is the right amount? Not 1%, not suffering. How much money is an American naturally entitled to? Conservatives say what ever you're earning and happy with, but liberals seem to have some majic amount where you aren't too rich or too poor. What is it?

  6. "Conservatives say what every you're earning and happy with..."

    Um, no they don't. They say "More." Otherwise, there would be no Billionaires, or anyone else with more money they could ever spend, or more land they could ever use. If they need all that to make them "happy," they are probably too damaged to be reasoned with.

    In my humble opinion, everyone who wants to work should be able to work, and no one who works should suffer from deprivation. No one who works should lack food, clothing, education, medicine, leisure time in their "productive" years, or comfort in their "golden" years (when they can no longer work.) And if to accomplish this society someone can't own a dozen houses or more money than he could ever spend, if it means that one man can't leave 30 relatives millions of dollars each so they don't have to work- then SO BE IT. Because when the comfort of 1% is dependent on the abuse of the other 99%, it ISNT WORTH IT.

    I'll leave the economists to figure out the actual numbers. Simply put, the "magic amount" I've come up with for the rich is LESS, and the "magic amount" I've come up with for the poor is MORE.

    Get it, Derek?

  7. We have a (generally) free market economy. Rich Americans are only rich because they ore there ancestors did something really great (or illegal, but we'll leave the Kennedys out of this)

    As to those who inherit millions, they don't exactly live up to my "do not work, do not eat" ideal, I really don't think there are very many of them, and they are usually good enough to self-destruct.

    Real poor people don't live in America. High tide raises all boats, yatchs or canoes. You can't help the poor by harming the rich.