Saturday, June 23, 2012

DirectTV would prefer you be the Mushroom of Sloth, I guess

Here's what almost all these DirectTV commercials all have in common: They are almost all arguments  for getting rid of your television, because getting away from TV ultimately leads to you actually going outdoors and doing really cool things.

This particular guy feels "helpless" because his cable bill is too high.  Funny, when I felt that my cable bill was too high, I didn't feel helpless.  I just cut out the premium channels.  Now I kind of wished I had felt helpless, because if I had, maybe I would have

A.  Gone outdoors.  Always a good idea.
B.  Taken a karate class.  Nice social activity.  Good exercise.  Another good idea.
C.  Become the Fist of Goodness.  This just sounds cool.  And who doesn't think being the Fist of Goodness isn't a better deal that sitting at home staring at the glowing idiot box as your body turns into a mushroom?

Sure, you might not do a good job on your costume.  I don't think this guy's outfit is terrible- it reminds me of Peter Parker's first effort in the original Spider-Man movie.  But he could have done worse, and may do better in the future.

Sure, you might slip up and crash through a skylight and interrupt a dinner party.  But so what?  That comes with the territory when you are a Super Hero, doesn't it?

Once again, the message here is supposed to be "if you don't have 300 channels in HD, you are going to end up doing something really stupid and destructive."  The message I keep getting is "if you get off your ass and stop watching television for a while, you might end up meeting cool people and doing interesting things."  Maybe DirectTV needs to go back to the Hoarding Cats guy, or the jerk whose daughter married an "undesirable" (grrr, that ad still pisses me off to no end....)

I wonder if Fist of Goodness is trademarked.  Because, as usual, there's nothing good on tonight.


  1. It amazes me the lengths these people will go to to hammer home the point that doing things is dangerous. What's next? "Don't cause total global nuclear war! Get DirectTV"?

  2. I'm looking for the commercial for On Demand where the little kid's changing tastes are instantly catered to by mom and her Amazingly Unlimited On Demand Library. Apparently mom thinks like DirectTV does- that no matter what, you should be spending your life with your eyes pasted to the boob tube.