Friday, June 22, 2012
Just a few questions, Weather Channel
1. When did you decide that being the channel of choice for seniors and shut-ins who just want inoffensive, non-threatening music in the background while they get Weather On the Eights every- well, eight minutes-just wasn't good enough for you?
2. What the HELL does "Pyros" have to do with the weather? I almost don't even want you to try to answer this question, because I can only imagine the twisted, insane logic your spokesperson would use to try to justify this crud. Fireworks? Detonation switches? Big explosions and colors and hicks moaning "oooooohhhh" and "ahhhhhh?" This is Weather? Really?
3. How on earth did you pry this junk out of the hands of the History Channel? Because it looks right up their alley. And I bet that their spokeschoads could make a better case for sticking this in between Axe Men and Ice Road Truckers (as a break from the usual Ancient Aliens and American Pickers marathons) than the Weather Channel could for running this crud when all we want is to know whether we need to bring an umbrella to work tomorrow.
So The Weather Channel is going the way of the History Channel, MTV, and all of the other niche market providers who have decided that their original mission statements needed to be tweaked. For our benefit, of course.
Which leaves us stuck waiting until the latest Not Weather show on The Weather Channel wraps up, so we can get a report on.....the weather. Oh, it's coming- but only after we watch Stuff Blowing Up. Thanks for nothing.