Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Fiber One, Husband Zero

Let me see if I get this straight.

Husband is standing in the middle of his driveway in his bathrobe, cradling a box of cereal in one arm and using the other to eat a bowl of said cereal.

Weird Colonial Indian Guy With British Accent strolls by and engages him in conversation about how the cereal eater's wife doesn't believe that the cereal, called FIBER ONE, has fiber in it, even though it's called FIBER ONE and has this big label which says 33% DAILY ALLOWANCE OF FIBER on the box.

Somehow the guy is going to get in trouble because there's the Wife, standing behind him with a nasty look on his face.  Can I assume she's angry because her husband is standing in the driveway in his bathrobe eating his cereal instead of doing it at the kitchen table like a normal person who is not driven out of his home by his wife's refusal to accept that a cereal that comes in a box which has the word FIBER all over it?

(Anyone here know the impact of fat idiots eating cereal in their bathrobes in the driveway on the suburban housing market, by the way?  I can tell you I wouldn't purchase a home in this neighborhood.)

Can someone explain to me what happened here?  Did this guy and his wife have an argument over the fiber content of the cereal which caused him to flee the house?  Did he get so insulted at Wife's attitude that he decided to take his box of cereal and seek comfort and affirmation from the guy he saw stocking the cereal at the local Giant Food?  Did hubby take advantage of Wife's momentary absence from the kitchen to snatch a few precious moments of peace in the driveway?  What?


  1. My God....the woman has a face that would curdle milk inside the cow. All this passive-aggressive because the sugary cereal doesn't look and taste like pencil shavings. What an atrocity.

  2. Maybe he's eating his cereal outside the presence of his wife because that's the only way he can keep his appetite?

  3. Can you please, please blog about the McDonalds "It's Going Viral", old-lady-"blogging"-about-oatmeal ad?! It makes my butt itch on about 1000 levels.

  4. Jessica, if i could find it I definitely would; I haven't seen it, but it sounds horrible.