Saturday, June 30, 2012

Nissan Presents the customer of their dreams

Or should I say "the stupid, overeager, Was Never Taught How to Buy a Car customer of their dreams."  Because man is this woman ever dumb, dumb dumb.

She practically sprints from the showroom to the lot, leaving a panting (and probably drooling, with cash signs replacing his pupils) "salesman" in her wake.  She knows all about the cars, and she knows exactly which one she wants.  She knows about the current deal, and she loves that, too.  If she knows how to do the paperwork, the "salesman" is completely superfluous here.  Except, he'll get the credit for the sale and the commission.  For keeping up with this idiot woman, I guess.

What this poor customer really, really needed in her life was someone to explain to her how to go about buying a car without getting fleeced.  You don't rush into the dealership with a manic Please Please Please Sell Me Something Right Now Show Me Where to Sign I Don't Care How Much it Costs demented look on your face.  You look disinterested, maybe a little bored, and your attitude is Maybe I'm Open to buying a car today, but Probably Not.  In other words, you look at what this dope does- and do the opposite.

Oh, and if your busy schedule permits, you take a test drive.  This woman looks like she may well just drive off and forget to leave the freaking paperwork for another day, she's in such a massive hurry to be parted with her money.  Moron.

On the other hand, if this is how it normally works at car dealerships, man do I have the wrong job.  Because this looks like a sweet deal, no heavy lifting.  In fact, every car commercial looks like this- customers literally knocking each other over to hand their money to the dealership, grinning like idiots at all the bells and whistles.  I get that the car companies would love for all of us to act like this clueless mope.  And maybe some of us do.  Me?  I was just walking past and thought I'd pop in to enjoy the air conditioning.   Not really interested in purchasing today.  Unless you can offer me something really amazing, and even then it's not likely.  But give it a shot, I dare you.

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