Thursday, June 21, 2012
Google: the perfect choice for forgetful, self-important shmucks
Jeesh, I really hate this guy.
The week he brought his ugly spawn home from the hospital, he took "about a million pictures" of it. First, you can't hold a baby and take pictures of the thing at the same time. Which means he was spending a lot of time holding up his phone and snapping pictures and not a whole lot of time actually interacting with his kid.
In other words, this dumbass's definition of "being a father" is a lot different than mine. And when he says he "never liked anything so much as being a father," I can only assume that he means that he never enjoyed taking photos with his phone so much until he was able to take photos of this little mammal that came out of his wife.
When Dickwad was done "taking about a million pictures" of this kid's face, fist, wrinkled feet, etc. (because you can't get enough of those, can you?)* he left his phone in the back seat of a taxi. Which means that for a few minutes, he thought that he left his "million" pictures of his kid in that back seat too.
Except......he continues his yawn-inducing narrative with "I've lost about a million phones," and at this point, what I've lost is any confidence that this guy understands the concept of the term "million." He's taken a million pictures. He's lost a million phones. I'm guessing now that to this dope, the word "million" actually translates to "three." Which actually makes his obsessive photo-taking a bit easier to take. Maybe he's shot THREE pictures of his kid. That, I can understand.
Anyway, the "happy ending" comes when he, and we, learn that the million or three photos doofus took of his ugly little offspring are safe and sound and stored away by Google. Anyone else find it a tad alarming that when you use this phone, all of the stupid, spur of the moment photos you take are tucked away in some virtual vault, courtesy of Google? That all of those photos you looked at the next day, realized that you should not have taken, and quickly deleted are still available- probably forever and ever- in the Cloud (if that's not a trademarked term?) Oh sure, maybe you can go into Google and delete them- or maybe you can't. Maybe you just think you can.
Not that anyone's ever going to steal the pictures this guy took of his baby. I mean, who would want to? After all....
*It's just a baby, and it looks just like every other baby out there. Don't even try to convince me that it isn't virtually identical to every other white baby on the planet of the same age. Might as well try to convince me that it's a Miracle. And we all know that's not about to happen.
(By the way, the narrative style of this commercial really irked me. I don't know who this guy is. I don't care what he thinks is important, or how he found himself living a life in which he finds very little to care about. He sounds depressed to me, but why should I care? And why should I care about how many photos he took of his kid or how special he thinks being a father is now or how many times he's lost his phone? What was I supposed to get out of this?)