Saturday, September 8, 2012

McDonalds Presents the simple joy of being a butt-kissing brown-noser

Ok, maybe I'm piling on a little when it comes to snarking on McDonalds, but no one asked them to make it so easy.

This guy gets the news that one of his poker buddies, a supervisor or something, is in position to give someone a big promotion.  I'm going to ignore the fact that he, his supervisor, and all the other fellow wage slaves seem to be playing cards on company time- that's just par for the course when it comes to depicting the workplace in American Commercials.

Instead, I'll just focus on what flashes through his brain a moment after he realizes that he might just get that promotion, if he plays his cards right (bad pun unintended.)  He's a "smart guy" for the reason people in these ads are always smart- because he was able to figure out how to buy a thousand calories of fatty, sugarly, salty, oily, life-shortening crap with just a few bucks (gee, why does he need a raise if he's got this kind of brain power?)  Because he's so smart, he knows that if he lays down his four queens and wins the hand- umm, what, exactly?

Oh, yeah- the supervisor is such a pompous, self-important windbag petty tyrant that he'll deny the promotion, and give it to someone else (presumably, someone with a better concept of the practice of Kissing the Boss's Ass.)

Because Mr. Mensa wants that promotion, he's more than willing to fold, beginning what I guess he hopes is several decades of stroking the supervisor's ego in similar disgusting, humiliating, dehumanizing ways.  Because it's all about the money, I guess.  So we should congratulate Brainiac for successfully launching his career as a Lickspittle Doormat, always careful to walk two steps behind his boss, losing every card game, bowling tournament and fantasy league to this guy until one of them is eligible for Social Security?

Hey, McDonalds- I get that jobs aren't exactly falling out of trees these days, Promotions are hard to come by and money, while not really all that important in the long run (when we are all dead, after all) can come in handy when you want to buy things.  I wonder if YOU get that there's nothing especially funny about watching the Birth of a Boss's Pet who thinks he's being Smart and Political but is actually just showing the world how soulless he is.  Bah, whatever- if he thinks that economizing at the Dollar Menu is a good idea, his career as a toady isn't going to be all that long, anyway.  At least that's something.


  1. Here's a funnier line than any in that commercial:

    HR Representative: "Mr. Supervisor. I got a complaint that you denied an employee the application for a promotion because he didn't let you win a card game."

  2. At home, this guy is asked by his wife if he LIKES the Cheepie Weenie Casserole and slow-cooked carrot coins she slaved over all day. After reminding himself that he was smart enough to buy off the Dollar Menu that afternoon, he replies "it's the best thing I've eaten in a long time, honey!"

    His reward is Cheepie Weenie Casserole and slow-cooked carrot coins at least twice a week, for the rest of his (probably short) life.

    If he had laid down his four Queens at work, maybe he would have lost his job. But he would have saved his soul. And as you suggest, he'd have an excellent case for the HR Rep. Jesus Christ, what is this, 1956?

    1. As for the marriage collapsing because his wife has to earn her own money, I think that that's another win for him. He can get his soul and his manhood back!!