Saturday, September 1, 2012

Here's a guy who needs fifty percent of his dignity back

This is, I believe, the 208th Capital One commercial featuring Jimmy Fallon singing the merits of getting "fifty percent cash back" for using a certain credit card.  "Who doesn't like fifty percent more cash back?" Fallon always asks.  And then we are given an example of a child who doesn't care about cash or credit cards or any of the things that Fallon thinks are important because he's been hired to read a script handed to him by Capital One.

Fallon's a pretty accomplished television star, and a somewhat less accomplished film star,* which makes me wonder why he needs to do crap like this.  Then again, we've got Michael Jordan, who is worth roughly 400 billion dollars, ripping talking tags off of the shorts of fat doofuses and tossing them on grills.  We've got Shaquille O'Neal pitching compact cars.  And let's not forget Magic Johnson urging people to sign on the bottom line and empty their wallets into their nearest Rent A Center.  Still- does he really need this kind of money?

Especially since these ads are kind of counterproductive- I see them every day, and with each viewing I am reminded that if Jimmy Fallon is this annoying in a 30-second commercial, he is probably downright intolerable in a 90-minute feature film.  Therefore, I intend to avoid any opportunity to actually pay to see a film featuring Jimmy Fallon.

Not to mention that anyone who understands credit cards realizes that there's an even better way to save money than Capital One's Fifty Percent Cash Back plan.  It's to use cash.  Cash, you see, carries an unbeatable interest charge from month to month.

*I did like Fever Pitch, but I think that it was because of the subject, not its male star.


  1. I don't have a credit card, and, unless I absolutely have to in order to do unavoidable business with someone that requires it, I never will get one. I have a debit card, and that's fine for me. If I don't have the money to buy something outright, then I won't buy it. That probably means that I'll never have a new car or a house, but, realistically-speaking, that's not going to happen, anyway. Unless I hit the jackpot on Megabucks or something, in which case, I would still be able to afford to pay for them outright. But not having the newest car can be a small price to pay for not being in crippling debt for your whole life.

    1. Eventually, someone will chime in here to remind us of this thing called the "Credit Score," which allegedly determines whether a bank will give you a loan for a house, car, etc. In fact, all your "Credit Score" shows is how good you are at borrowing money and paying it back. If you've got a nice pot of money because you HAVEN'T spent your life accumulating and paying off debt, chances are banks will look very favorably upon lending you money. The YOU MUST BORROW mantra is an absolute crock, unless you are part of the growing mass of people out there whose wages have been stagnant for the past decade while the cost of basics (rent, food, medication) have continued to rise.

      I agree with you 100 percent- credit cards for emergencies. Cash for everything else.

  2. What's really funny is that sometimes, they run PSAs about evil drug dealers after this thing. It's hilarious to see one destructive pusher ask us what's in our wallets followed by another destructive pusher turn into a snake creature.