Sunday, September 2, 2012

That phone is the least of your problems, lady

Here's a woman who is obviously terrified of her little girl- specifically, terrified of being seen as a "parent" rather than as a "best friend" or, as she puts it, "the bad guy."

Because mommy/best friend is so scared of getting on the wrong side of her little girl (how old is this kid?  Ten?  Twelve?  And she has her own phone and unlimited talk and text?  What the hell was this woman thinking when she agreed to this arrangement? Oh yeah- "this will prevent an argument" and "Dad won't approve, and I'll be the Good Guy again."  Maybe she's worried she'll be dumped from her daughter's Facebook Account (you KNOW this little girl is on Facebook.  All the time.)  Maybe she just can't bear that "I'm not sure if I like you or not, Lame-Ass Mom" look Daughter Who Runs The House gives her whenever Mommy says something that does not include "of course I'll buy that for you, honey."

So cringing, frightened mom wrings her hands and reenforces daughter's entirely accurate opinion of mom- that she's a spineless, easily-manipulated asshat who can be batted around like a cat toy because she simply must be popular with daughter.  Awesome.

Somehow, I don't think a brochure from the good people at is going to fix this family's problems.  Maybe years of therapy, but not a brochure.  As a childless person, maybe I'm missing something, but wouldn't the easiest solution here be for Mommy to tell Daughter that she cannot use her phone as often as she has been doing, and if she fails to stay within Mommy's guidelines, the phone will be taken away?

Did I just cause heads to explode, or what?  Once again I find myself typing, "what am I missing here?"


  1. From the nervous smile that the girl attempts halfway into Mom's "talk", it would seem that the girl is just as afraid of Mom at that point. Maybe she's wondering if Mommy is having a psychotic episode, and while Mom is blathering on, she's texting her friends to call 911 and that she'll try and keep her mother occupied until the police arrive.

    1. Maybe it was the "wait till your dad gets home" comment which threw up the red flag for daughter who, unlike mom, has long since accepted the fact that dad moved out two years ago and is living upstate with a sane woman, seeing daughter every other Christmas and two weeks per summer.

    2. Or even worse. This isn't even her child. She's so terrified of talking to her own daughter, that she just walked into some neighbor's house and began spontaneously practicing on theirs. Hence the confused and anxious look on the girl's face.

    3. Or even worse. This isn't even her child. She's so terrified of talking to her own daughter than she just walked into a neighbor's hose and spontaneously began practicing with theirs. Hence the surprised and nervous expression on the girl's face.

  2. Nothing that I can see. The idea of setting boundaries on Brittany Brat's behaviour gets in the way of making the third quarter sales projections so responsible parenting just has to go the way of the dodo.

    1. This is the kind of ad which makes me agree with that old chestnut that "if you need to take a test in order to drive a car, you should have to take a test in order to have kids."

      Of course, Verizon, Sprint and AT&T would probably sponsor such parenting schools. And we already know that their answer to the question "what do you do if your kid is talking and texting all the time" is "get an unlimited talk and text package!"

  3. Ah...the female version of Anthony from the "It's a Good Life" episode of "The Twilight Zone"!

    Don't you just love the supplicant posture and the high, hysterical voice from Mommy? "Hi, honey! Um, I just wondered if I could talk to you about how you text all the time? That is, I thought we could talk about it if you promise not to hit me and hate me and never speak to me again?"

    *rolleyes* "You're a BAD MOM! I don't think I like you very much! And you know what I do to people I don't like very much, don't you?"

    "Um, forget it, honey! What I was really about to say is that it's a GOOD thing the way you text so much! Yeah, it's REAL good! (Pleasepleaseplease don't wish me into the cornfield!)"

    It is so sad. My sister who's a mother is like this with her kids. So afraid of being hated that she can't lower the boom on them, ever. Because you just know that if your teenager says she hates you, well that's it, she hates you and you will never, ever be able to have a real relationship with her again. That's it. It's over.

    *sigh* You know, I'm the very last one to advocate the "Do what I say or I'll beat your butt" school of parenting. It doesn't work, anyway, really. But I'm equally frustrated by parents who are terrified to tell their kids to do anything or that certain kinds of behavior are unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Can we not strike a happy medium somewhere? Please?