Thursday, June 6, 2013

Earth to Ace: This isn't rocket science....



Let's make this brief.  In fact, that's basically my advice to your ad team:  Make it brief.  Tell us what your product is, why it's something we can't live without, and where we can buy it.  Then move on- and let US move on.

Every once in a while, a company discards the 31-seconds-or-less rule which is supposed to rule Advertising Land in a country dominated by people with Attention Deficit Disorder.  I don't know why- if I find myself on a fourth or fifth paragraph of commentary, I stop typing and start editing.  And if I know there is a limit to how much of my grumpy snark people are willing to read, why can't more companies figure out that we don't want to see a fricking sitcom situation where we expected to see an Ad?

Simply put:  A really stupid idea does not improve with length.  Watching even an entire minute of this crud is like trying to politely listen to a six year old recite the Gettysburg Address.  It's about as entertaining as getting a tooth pulled- in slow motion.

I'm going to be kind of mean here.  If you sat through the entire three minutes of this stupid, Not In The Least Bit Funny junk, you either desperately need to get a life, or you are an incredibly lazy twat who couldn't find the remote because it was wedged halfway up your butt as you were splayed on the couch.  Please don't tell me you sat through it because you "wanted to see how it turned out."  Leave embarrassing stuff like that for the YouTube comment page, where NOTHING is too embarrassing.

And please, if you really DID watch this whole thing and actually enjoyed it, PLEASE keep that opinion to yourself and don't contact ACE to report it.  Because if you do, next thing you know three-minute commercials become the standard and the distance between me and my sanity gets much, much longer.

7 comments:

  1. Well, I guess I'll be headed down to Ace to find my soul paint. Bye.

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  2. BTW, update from Louisville- tomorrow is the last day of grading, great experience as usual but I am BURNED OUT!!!

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  3. As an aside, that is one ugly shade of purple.

    As an update, I found out I have no soul paint. The salesman pointed me toward some two-tone wood paneling that looked kind of nice. Sort of what you imagine a household library being done in. Although, the only room I've ever actually seen done like that is the waiting room at my ophthalmologist's office.

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  4. The ad where the woman goes to the store to find the right color purple is kind of interesting, because it shows the employee working to decipher the customer's unspoken wants and help her find the product that will make her happy. It's kind of minimalist, so I like it.

    This one, which must be like a sequel, is just awful. I couldn't watch it all the way through once -- there's no way I'd want to see it coming on all the time on my TV.

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    1. Yeah, that one was pretty good. Of course, as an art hobbyist, I was a bit annoyed by the woman's inability to articulate what she wanted (63% Ultramarine/Violet Lake, give or take a shade.)

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  5. If brevity is indeed the soul of wit, what does Purple Man's garrulousness say about him?

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    Replies
    1. That he's the perfect match for that woman from the HauteLook ad.

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