Monday, June 9, 2014

Next year, tablets and cell phones will be curved too. Just watch. It is simply who we are.

Yes, Doc, I know what this means.  It means that once again, we are being told that our perfectly good television sets- which were yesterday's Must Buy, is now a lame-ass, flat piece of crap and our lives are basically over unless we toss them to the curb and bust through our credit card limits to buy this new Technology That Makes Life Worth Living.

To the owners of Dr. Carl Sagan's image- there are no words to describe the contempt I have for you.  When Dr. Sagan was discussing new inventions and technology and the renaissance-to-come, he was NOT referring to another excuse to obsess over the fucking idiot box as our ticket to a stationary, obese lifestyle.

To all of the other actors who whored or where whored out for this dreck- well, I know that these are just random movie clips, none of which actually show you having an orgasm over a new television set (unlike the slack-jawed losers seen drooling over their new toy- I have no words to describe the contempt I have for them, either.)  Still, I hope you feel a little bit of shame to be associated with this horror.

And to all the morons who bought into the I Must Have This Right Now message ten seconds in, well- if TV is your life, I guess this is pretty cool.  And if TV is your life, well, I think I've written enough about undefinable contempt for one post.  Enjoy your- um- existence- with your new, awesome, curvy idiot box, oatmeal-for-brains.


  1. I don't even get what we're supposed to find so impressive about this. Why would I want a curved TV? Do I like having my image distorted at the edges, unless I'm directly in front of it? Maybe it's to appeal to me because the morals were being shown these days are all distorted anyway. Hey, perhaps this is meant to make them look straight. Although, "straight" is a concept no one wants to admit to anymore either ;) .

  2. When the Bard wrote "Whence and what art thou, execrable shape?", he wasn't talking about this latest attempt to hoover up money from the wallets of simpletons. That being said, the line DOES fit.