Saturday, December 10, 2016
Quaker Presents: Taste, Totally Flattened
Or maybe "laid to waste."
I mean, let's slightly rewrite the narration for this ad: "Here at Quaker Oats, we take berries, honey, oats, raisins, and other good, wholesome food and pound the living crap out of it until it's reduced to thin, dry, utterly tasteless wafers which can be stacked, wrapped in plastic, and packaged for all you posers who absolutely refuse to make the effort to search out and eat real food but instead seek out this processed crud - not only seek it out, but actually manage to get it down because you think you're doing something good for yourself. For you, here are New Quaker Flats- quite literally, dried-up and mass-produced fiber chunks held together with honey which might, if you don't think about it too much, be a passable snack if consumed with a very hot, very strong cup of coffee."
I'm always amazed that there's a market for six dollar boxes containing a few cents worth of food, but then I remember- there's always people like the ones I described in the first paragraph. Lazy, Niave morons looking for a short cut brought us Carnation Instant Breakfast and Eggo Waffles. This stuff fits right in.