Saturday, September 28, 2019
The Colonel Wants Us Dead
When I was a kid, dinner from Kentucky Fried Chicken was a once-or-twice-a-year treat were were always delighted to see mom and dad bring home. It was so rare I can remember specific instances of having chicken and mashed potatoes and biscuits for dinner- who was there, how many pieces we had in leftovers and how we fought over them, etc. It seriously was like an extra Christmas.
And it was so good, I used to tell myself that when I was an adult, I'd eat Kentucky Fried Chicken all the time. Of course, I didn't know that they'd change the formula (to make it less fatty) so that it wouldn't taste as good thirty years later- or that the pieces would stop looking big and meaty and become shriveled and dark in the serving by the end of the 20th Century. Oh well, my arteries are far better off anyway.
Now, to this commercial- It's not Kentucky Fried Chicken anymore, it's KFC (because the Colonel is dead and his successors know that "fried" is not something we want to be reminded of these days) and Fast Food is not marketed as a Special Treat because there's nowhere near enough profit in that. So KFC doesn't just have big buckets, they've got sandwiches and $5 boxes and these bowls which are super-convenient for lunch hours if you don't mind dying of heart disease before you reach middle age (this bowl- which includes fried chicken, four kinds of cheese and is served "drizzling with gravy," contains 720 calories, 31 grams of fat and almost 2500 grams of sodium. I have no idea how anyone could eat this stuff and stay awake for the rest of the day, personally. I do understand why a little kid would dream of growing up and living on it. I don't understand how any adult could want to eat it, even once.