Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Meet John



Hey, check out John. John dresses like a slob and doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands when the camera is trained on him. John moves in weird, jerky motions which suggest he has some kind of muscular disorder which has probably turned off- or frightened- several First Dates, which despite showing promise always seem to turn out to be Last Dates.

After years of fruitless, frustrating One-Nighters (and those are the SUCCESSFUL dates,) John's got a pretty good idea of what he is looking for in a girl- someone who will tolerate whatever it is he does that prevents him from establishing relationships with the women he meets in the normal, Non Online-dating world. Because the route people who aren't sad, isolated losers take- meeting through mutual friends, by joining clubs etc.--- for some reason, this just isn't working for John. What John really needs is another pathetic, desperate, Out of Ideas But Not Money dope who has also been rejected by the population of Normals. John would probably look pretty good- or at least passable- to someone who is one step away from writing guys in prison.

Speaking of desperate- hey, here's Jennifer. Jennifer is going to help John "go deeper."

No, I'm not going there. I know kids who read this blog.

4 comments:

  1. John,

    I've gone out and gotten involved in groups and activities and hoped to meet someone. Hasn't happened. Online dating is just another way to meet people these days. For those of us who do not want to stay in the area we live in at the moment, online dating enables us to meet people who live other places. There are many, many people who have active social lives using online dating, such as a friend of mine, who just got engaged to a guy she met through ChristianMingle. Your perceptions of people who use online dating is very out-of-date.

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    1. I'm sure that's true. I still think people who need to resort to these things are pretty sad, though.

      And I've already posted about ChristianMingle- paying to find "God's plan for you." Weirdness.

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  2. Well, at least he's not on Zoosk. There seems to be a sort of pecking order of how desperate one has to be to use a service like this.

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    1. From what I've seen, Zoosk is only for Playboy and Playgirl models who, mysteriously, can't find people to stalk them obsessively without resorting to an online service.

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