Friday, July 20, 2012

Another "Problem Solved, and it was So Simple" insulting little nub of dumb from America's Natural Gas Companies

There are roughly 800 of these "Energy Voter" commercials currently polluting the airwaves- 17 second spots featuring a typical Useful Idiot expounding the benefits of drilling the hell out of the country, destroying the aquifer and basically sending life as we know it to the brink of extinction through the release of even more greenhouse gases for the sake of (possibly) slightly cheaper natural gas and petroleum.

In this episode of I'll Gladly Sell Out My Future And The Future of My Child For a Few Dollars and 17 Seconds of Face Time, "Felice" bounces around the screen with her oblivious daughter, explaining how awesome it will be when we finally get at all that wonderful natural gas just waiting for "us" to pull out of the ground underneath "our" feet, solving "our" energy issues in the wink of a Fascist-Corporatist's lizard eye.  Yay for Felice's daughter!  Middle East Wars, oil spills, ruinously high gas prices (do you know we pay almost 30% as much as Evil Socialist Europe does for a gallon of the stuff?) are soon to be a thing of the past.  All we have to do is Get to Work, Get the Environmentalist Al Gore-Loving, Polar Bear and Clean Water Worshiping Weirdos out of the damn way and Drill Baby Drill.

"I'm Felice, and I'm an Energy Voter."  Actually, you are what they call a Low Information Voter.  And that's being polite.  I could just call you a Pawn.  Or a Sellout.  Corporate Whore is a little rough, so I won't go there.  Sucker?  "Actress" doesn't seem to fit, because you aren't especially convincing.  Then again, isn't Katy Perry an "actress" these days?

Whatever you really are, Felice, please don't pass your rank stupidity on to that poor kid.  Let her grow up to be an unreasonable adult who selfishly wants stuff like non-flammable water and who thinks that maybe continued reliance on oil and gas isn't the best idea on a planet where China, India and Brazil's fuel needs are skyrocketing.  An unreasonable adult who thinks that maybe there are no Easy Answers, and who is intelligent enough to realize that all that oil and natural gas underneath "our" feet isn't really "ours" and will just go on the world market where we will compete to buy it, just like we always have.  An unreasonable adult who has overcome her upbringing to develop a social conscience and is about 100 times smarter than her mom.

Of course, she'll grow up drinking bottled water and wondering why her parents generation thought that frakking was such a great idea, too.  Can that one website you visited, which had all the answers, deal with that question, Felice?


  1. Maybe for her next trick, she'll whine about taxes on high-fructose corn syrup.

  2. *headwall* Too many people think like this and ignore or remain ignorant of the horrible consequences of fracking.

    Locally, a town about half an hour south of me just put a one year moratorium on fracking and the gas company that serviced the town stopped all service to them. *rolls eyes* That's right, little one. Pitch a snit fit and toddle home with your toys because you're not getting your way. Put on your Big Boy/Girl Pants? Why ever would you want to do that? [/sarcasm]

  3. Oh thank you thank you thank you...anytime one dares to watch TV news, one gets bombarded with these stupid ads...right up there with the ones from the oil companies telling us all about how they're working so hard to find alternatives to petroleum, and talking about how wonderful it will be if only they can go up to Alaska and drill the hell out of every last inch of virgin landscape. Because that's just gonna solve everything.