Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Come to Times Square, and get your Range Rover molested by strangers

The "idiots with nothing better to do in their sad little lives staring lovingly at cars" theme has been popular in automobile commercials for several decades now.  You know the drill- a showroom-shiny car which Despite What the Narrator Is Telling Us Looks Exactly Like Pretty Much Every Other Car on the Road cruises slowly down the street, and all activity stops as people freeze and drool over it.  Recently, animals have gotten into the act, as we insult dogs and cats by pretending that they share the same shallow non-values as television people.

Anywhere, here's another Check Out Our SameMobile attracting the inappropriate attention of a mob of total losers in Times Square.  See the losers take photos of the SameMobile.  See them lust over it.  See them stroke it (does anyone ever do this, ever?  Why? Please don't try to convince me that certain cars have a different "feel" from the OUTSIDE.  Do these clueless weirdos think that they'll somehow develop an emotional bond with the car if they engage in physical contact with it?  Do they think the car will follow them home?  Do they believe that by touching it, they achieve a kind of spiritual connectivity with the SameMobile?  What the hell?)

This ad is about as silly as all the other auto commercials featuring labs and wind tunnels and electronic blueprints which try to convince us that we are about to be introduced to something Brand New- but the "Brand New" always means a new bell or whistle which isn't obvious from the outside, so what's with the constant staring and open-mouthed astonishment?  And why is it that no matter how cool the "concept car" looks, once it hits the market it's just another SameMobile?

Maybe people really don't want to buy a car that total strangers will paw with their greasy mitts?  Just a thought.


  1. I agree that car commercials like this one are astonishingly stupid. They hope to feed into the misconception that (a) anyone pays attention to what your car looks like and (b) they even notice you inside your car so that they can be (c) super-impressed that you are driving it. Instead of only seeing yet another anonymous car on the road. Curiously, I really only get noticed if I'm out running or walking. People will comment that they saw me at a certain time, on a certain day. But never do I hear "Oh, I saw you driving down Washington Ave." Because when I'm driving, I'm just another vehicle on the road.

  2. I think car companies are always trying to convince us that if we drive their product, people will actually get sexually excited when they see us driving it. And envious. Of US, mind you- not our cars. Which makes zero sense, since in pretty much all these commercials, you can't even see the driver.

  3. How very odd these ads are. I would tend to think that the people writing them use the phrase 'the car up ahead' instead of 'the person up ahead' like everyone else but seem to want to pretend that they don't.