Sunday, December 9, 2012
Kmart is just asking us to be brave....
..that is, at least as brave as a fat, unshaven slob who thinks he's doing something worthwhile by sitting in his mommy's basement playing Black Ops.
You actually need a somewhat higher level of bravery to deal with the knowledge that Christmas is still weeks away. And that there are a LOT of these commercials. And that they all have to get lots and lots of airtime between now and December 25.
Maybe you can't get to the mute button every time. But here's something you CAN do to make this a little more bearable: don't go to YouTube and read the "What is this Song I want this Song where can I find this Song what is this Song" prattle from the knuckle-dragging mouth breathers who live to find the artist behind every 2-second bit of music that has ever appeared on television, ever. I've often asked them what horrible thing has happened in their lives to make them such pathetic, bottom-feeding, SAD losers, but they always respond with a kind of garbled, sort-of-intelligible gibberish that I think is supposed to be a negative reaction to my query. Then, I imagine, they go back to hunting down commercials with music and asking about the artists and availability again. Maybe they take a break from time to time to play Black Ops. Or attempt to respond to me with their own very special brand of "English." Whatever makes them happy and won't cause accidental cuts, I guess.