Monday, December 17, 2012

Samsung channels Orwell- "He Who Controls the Present, controls the Future."



Ugh, what a mess.

Here's a ridiculously large "family" (it would be more accurate to describe these idiots as "people who are accidentally related to each other") gathered together to "Share the Holidays" (it would be more accurate to describe this situation as "bear to be with each other instead of their friends and electronic devices for a day.")  If you look carefully enough you'll see that there's the prerequisite balance of males and females, a grandma, and a dog, as well as the usual racial ambiguity which the advertising world thinks it must be careful to include so that it doesn't tick off the obscenely easily annoyed among us.

It's all supposed to be very cute and sweet, I suppose- people who share common genetic code pushed into one side of a room so that the Patriarch can take a photo and prove to future generations that yes, these people existed and could tolerate one another on holidays.  Except- future generations are going to be conned into thinking this, and future grandparents are going to have very fuzzy, warped memories about what happened on this particular holiday.

Because thanks to Samsung (and The Cloud, and PhotoShop, and all of the other reality-bending technology that make our lives worth living these days) that messy thing called Real Life can be scrubbed, erased, and altered into Life As We Would Like It To Be But Aren't Willing To Put Any Effort Into Making Reality.  Kids won't stop fighting?  No problem- we can "swap in some smiles" (that's from an old Cloud commercial.)  Daughter won't stop texting (it's always Daughter who won't stop texting?)  Again, no problem- we'll erase the Real, and replace it with the Fantasy.

Snap.  Here's the photo.  Let's slap it on Facebook, stick it in a frame, use it to create a holiday card with Shutterfly.   In a few years (hell, with our rapidly decaying attention span, more like "in a few hours") it will represent what really happened.  And it was so easy- nobody had to behave like reasonable people who understood that Mom and Dad wanted a decent photo for a few seconds.  Kids didn't have to stop punching each other, and (Thank G-d) Daughter didn't have to stop texting.  Because that would have been tragic.

I wish Mom had finished this commercial by asking Dad "Can you make them disappear now?"  The answer certainly would have been "yes."  Brother-in-Law you really didn't want to invite can be erased from the photo.  Tree can be made more green, tinsel can be made more shiny, clothes can be made brighter.  Everyone can be made to look more happy, more content.  Reality?  That isn't perfect.  Toss it down the memory hole.

1 comment:

  1. Easily solved. "If you don't shut up, put down your shit, and smile, Daddy's gonna start shooting presents with his 12 gauge."

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