Thursday, July 11, 2013

Geico Presents "Ted is Better Off" Theater

Let's see if we've got this right:

Ted doesn't have Geico, so instead of using his tripped-out phone to schedule an appointment with a claims adjuster after a hailstorm, he's on hold with his insurance company.  Meanwhile, Ted's girlfriend is giving him some "you are no longer a Male to me" look because-- his insurance company has him on hold.  I guess.

What am I missing here?  If Ted were a Real Man, he'd use his Amazing Alpha Male Powers to force his insurance company to bump him to the front of the wait list?

Meanwhile, a CGI pig whose car also suffered hail damage has no problem getting through to his insurance company because Geico has an App which allows it to report the problem without actually speaking to a human being.  That's right- Geico offers an App which allows pigs to file insurance claims, so they can get back to their lives which, by the way, are a lot more fun than mine.

Ted's girlfriend is so put out by the fact that Ted is distracted for more than a few minutes by his need to contact his insurance provider that she dumps him-- for the CGI pig.

Let's review.  Ted's car suffered damage.  Ted called his insurance company.  While he was on hold, his girlfriend dumped him for a digital pig.

This is supposed to be an argument for switching to Geico.  I think it's an argument for not dating impatient, "the universe revolves around me and if you inconvenience me I'm dumping you for a pig" girls.  I know it's not the message you wanted to send, Geico, but I appreciate it anyway.


  1. There's another currently running ad that's as bad if not worse.

    In the first version, a guy in a Viking helmet shows up in Mr. Wimpy Guy's garage and sees a hot rod covered in dust. The Viking says "you don't deserve this," pointing to the car. "Or THIS!" he says, as he grabs Mr. Wimpy Guy's impossibly hot girlfriend around the waist.

    Mr. Viking drives off towing the dusty hot rod -- so he can apply Armor All.

    In the final scene, we see the shiny hot rod, the Viking sitting on a throne, and the hot girl in a subordinate position, sitting next to the throne in a smaller chair.

    Someone must have complained, because the ad was later re-done to eliminate the woman.

    But Maxwell the Pig isn't going anywhere, apparently...

    1. I've seen both versions and I agree- the woman was apparently removed because the "show how macho you are by kidnapping a woman and making her your slave" is not the best idea for an ad campaign (anyone at this insurance company aware of a trial about to start in Ohio?)

  2. And his losing her to the CGI pig is a loss how?

  3. Hey, if he had STATE FARM, all he'd have to do is sing a one-line jingle and an agent would magically appear. That pig better enjoy his new girlfriend until she figures that out.