Thursday, July 4, 2013

MasterCard: Preferred by people who are much, much more worthy than thou

I can tell you from experience that there is NOTHING in G-d's Good Earth more humiliating and horrible than finishing up a delicious meal at one's favorite Parisian Bistro or Hong Kong hideaway and suddenly remember that it does not take American Express.

Fortunately, whenever I and my fellow Foodies jet over to Japan for a weekend of Sushi Bar Hopping, we carry our MasterCards.  Because being Rich and Pretty isn't just about money and good looks; it also includes knowing that not all currency is created equal on the side of the planet 99.9 percent of Americans will never see.

Sometimes, I envy those 99.9 percent of Americans.  They never have to deal with jet lag, or obnoxious security agents at airports, or officials who take forever to find a clean page on your passport to stamp.  And the restaurants they use- Burger King, McDonalds, etc.- take American Express.  Heck, they even take (giggle) CASH LOL!  I haven't even SEEN that stuff for years- is it still green?

All else being considered, however, I think I'll stick to being a Committed Foodie.  After all, Someone has to travel everywhere and taste everything, even if it DOES mean taking off your shoes or sitting on a rug instead of a chair and adjusting to every other kind of adorable local ritual and tradition.  As long as they take MasterCard, I'll be there.  And if one of you people ever get out of North America, I hope you learn from my experience just a little bit.  Just remember- a lot of restaurants outside this Hemisphere don't take American Express, so work really hard and try to qualify for a GOOD credit card before you go, ok?


Your Betters in the .01%


  1. "Heck, they even take (giggle) CASH LOL! I haven't even SEEN that stuff for years- is it still green?"

    Just on the back, and they've switched to a new peach-beige type paper. Oh, and they got rid of the frame around the portraits.

  2. I wonder at what point ad men decided "You know what? Maybe if we make the people watching want to hunt down and murder the people in the ads, they'll love the product we're selling."