Sunday, July 7, 2013

The future of relationships, presented by Blackberry

Wow, the warmth just oozes out of the screen, doesn't it?

David TEXTS "Happy Anniversary" to Klara (I know. Gag.)  Then he scrolls around for a few seconds, finds some nice beach hideaway the Rifraff Cannot Afford and selects it as a good place to spend a second honeymoon with Klara (grrrrr....)

Then he texts "let's Honeymoon again!"

Am I the only one who gets the feeling that these two sad, cold idiots haven't really talked for years?  I mean, a while back I snarked mercilessly on a commercial in which a woman announced to her husband that she was pregnant via cell phone video.  (You remember that one- where the giggly woman-child coyly told hubby that she had an update on "that thing we we've been working on," blush drop eyes tee hee.)  That was positively old-fashioned compared to this horror.

Seems to me that if you've got a phone that allows texting, it also allows for calling and talking.  Even dialing up your significant other's cell phone and SAYING "Happy Anniversary!" is better than texting it.  In fact, the only thing I can think of worse than texting it would be forgetting it altogether.

Here's something else that occurs to me- if it's David and-- umm, "Klara's" anniversary, doesn't that kind of imply that they, um, live together?  So why didn't David say "Happy Anniversary" that morning, or wait 'till he saw her again that night?  Why is David acting like he never actually sees his wife unless he's made a reservation at a fancy resort or restaurant- in other words, unless he's made an appointment to be with her?  Why is David acting as if he really doesn't like talking to his wife all that much, or that he did something terribly wrong a while back and has been sleeping on a cot in the garage for the past month and a half?

I mean, what the hell?


  1. The saddest part is that, when you think about it, smartphones could be such a force for good. People really waste an opportunity.

  2. Wishing your SO a happy anniversary is not something you do via text. It's just not. A second honeymoon isn't even remotely enough to fix what's wrong with this relationship.