Saturday, January 25, 2014

And in 33 seconds, Subaru kind of makes us wish they hadn't

This family survived a horrible crash because they were riding in a Subaru.  In fact, they apparently walked away without a scratch.  Good for them.  Good for Subaru.

Underneath the surface, however, the tiny fissures we can't quite see will soon widen and become cracks, which will then become chasms, and this family will come apart at the weakened seams.

First, we have the nightmares and the 2 AM screaming and the 7 AM soaked mattresses and the 3 PM therapy sessions.  Over and over again the images and sounds fly through Brittany and Cody's tortured minds- first there was mom's sneering, stabbing put-down which sent dad into a brief, offended silence which felt like a smothering blanket choking everyone in the speeding car.  It sounded like "you're driving too goddamned fast, what the fuck is your hurry?"  Then there was dad's frustrated, defiant pulling out of the cellphone, accompanied by an awkward, sudden jerking caused by his momentary failure to control the steering wheel.  Another stab by mom- "put your fucking phone away!"  The retort from Dad- "Stop telling me what to do goddammit you've been like this ever since you got pregnant with Cody!"  Screams.

Second, we have the black cloud of recrimination hanging over the entire house.  It hangs thickly over every silent meal consumed despite stomachs knotted with tension.  It manifests itself in tight-lipped smiles and tighter-lipped pecks on the cheek and in every "no, really, everything's fine" and every icy glance.  It whispers from every corner-- "you almost killed us because you were driving too fast and you weren't paying almost killed us because you couldn't let it alone and had to keep nagging me...we almost died because your phone was more important than we were....maybe you even wanted us dead because you didn't want Cody OR Brittany and you didn't want to marry me but I got feel trapped that's why you didn't care enough to slow down when I told you to...."

"The Subaru saved us from a quick we could live this slow one.   So we could die a little every day, so we could go through the motions of this sham marriage for the sake of the kids we are torturing with the fact that we no longer trust each other, taking comfort only in the fact that someday, we'll die for real.   Until then, here's your toast, here's your coffee, here's your peck on the cheek, here's another Christmas, here's another birthday, there's another line on your face and another gray hair on your head, when the kids are gone we can talk about what comes next, until then just suck it up because They Need Us Now. "

Hey, I bet you thought the TITLE of this post was dark!

No comments:

Post a Comment