Sunday, January 19, 2014

Let's see if I get this straight, Ally

So being ambivalent at the idea of handing over your money to a bank with no branches, where there will be absolutely zero chance of actually walking into a building and speaking to a real live person about a problem or question or concern, is foolish and silly and Just Give Us Your Money Already Don't Worry There Will Always Be Someone To Talk To Once You Get Through The Phone Menu and Hey We've Got a Website?

If this is really your message- and I'm pretty sure it is- why do you botch it up by showing us examples of what happened to this woman when she DID try new things- a scary robot vacuum (actually, not so new) and a robot dog (which she attempts to provide with water- jeesh, how did this woman get a job which allowed her to buy that house?  She has the IQ of a turnip...)  Seems to me that this would make sense as a commercial for a an old-fashioned Brick and Mortar bank- "here's what we think of banks with no branches- they are modernity gone mad, like robot vacuums and dogs.  They'll make a mess of your life.  Stick with simple.  You can walk into our bank and talk to a real person.  Doesn't that sound better?"

Of course, I fully expect that Ally's No Branches strategy is the wave of the future, and inside of 10 years or banks will have gone the way of bookstores.  It will be an easy transition for me- as a member of the US Senate Federal Credit Union, I've seen all the convenient branches in suburban Maryland systematically close down over the last decade, and now I have to take a train into DC (during very tight hours- the place is closed between 4 PM Friday and 10 AM Monday) and go through a metal detector to deposit a check.  Now, if I wanted to slip a little more money into the pockets of an evil, slave-wage paying cell phone company I could download a cool app that lets me take a photo of the check to deposit it...but I haven't reached the point where I'm willing to sell out like that quite yet.  I'll wait till they make me by closing down the last branch.  Won't be long.

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