Monday, January 17, 2011
eTrade's latest gift to the glue-sniffers who have no idea what stocks are
Let me see if I get this straight: The eTrade babies:
1. Take the Red Eye to and from Bachelor Parties
2. Own Laptops and I Phones with E-trade Apps.
3. Are interested in watching animals have sex (this one REALLY confuses me- so they are infants with the financial sense of adults, and the sexual curiosity of preteens?)
4. Have baby girlfriends ("milkaholics?" Seriously, eTrade? And you want me to trust you with my money?)
Actually, of course, there's only one thing to get straight here: The only thing eTrade is interested in is appealing to the crude lowest common denominator. I simply do not believe that the people who are actual potential customers for this "service" are the SAME people who find these ads even remotely amusing.
So what is happening here? My guess- the population of people out there who use "services" like eTrade smirk and nod at these incredibly stupid, insulting piles of steaming dreck, taking no message from the commercials other than "well, this is what you have to do these days to remind people that you're out there. Whatever."
Meanwhile, a larger population of people who don't have the slightest idea what these babies are talking about (when they are talking about trades) enjoy yukking it up over the OMIGOD SO FUNNY babies and the OMIGOD SO CLEVER things they are saying. That larger population is made up of exceptionally stupid people who really need to grow the hell up. Need to, but won't- because drifting in the warm Sea of Arrested Development is so much more pleasant, not to mention LOL CHECK OUT THAT NEW SHINY THING ROTFLMAO!!
I'll give eTrade this much: It's not often that a company is willing to spend money creating ads targeted at people who will never, ever seek out the service being advertised. But I still have to ask- why babies? Why not monkeys? They can be made to say HILARIOUS things, too. Why not penguins- they are really hot right now. Or geckos- oh wait, I forgot. They are already taken.