Sunday, January 9, 2011

It seems to me that this guy's life is permanently on Pause.

I'd like to point out that as this idiot's attempts at watching "Iron Man 2" are constantly being interrupted by travel demands, he never ONCE is shown using a headset. Which means he's just like every other self-absorbed dickwad appearing in Fios commercials- he's watching a movie, and he doesn't care if anyone around him is trying to read a book, or sleep, or (God forbid) just think about something without being harassed by his electronic addiction..

I'd also like to point out that I've SEEN Iron Man 2 (coincidentally enough, I watched it on Amtrak a few weeks ago, on my laptop. I used a headset. Because I'm not an inconsiderate jackass. In fact, I'm so NOT an inconsiderate jackass that when I wanted to make a phone call to let my family know how my painfully slow trip was progressing, I waited until I could step out on to the platform, where I could speak without bothering anyone except the crowd of smokers standing out there with me- and who gives a shit about them?)

Where was I? Oh yes, I've SEEN Iron Man 2, and while inferior in pretty much every way to the original, I must defend it here by saying that IT ISN'T EIGHT HOURS LONG!! Seriously, what is WITH this guy- he's watching it at home, then he's watching it in the terminal, then he's watching it on the plane- either he has severe ADD and can only watch for a few minutes at a time without nervously moving on to the next non-activity, or he's watching it again and again during his journey. Either way, this guy has issues. As I said, it's simply not a very good movie. Certainly not one that demonstrates how ESSENTIAL it is to purchase a service which allows you to carry it around with you.

I'll cut this guy two breaks. At least he isn't the "Take the NFL with you" choad, who apparently can't function if he isn't staring at a screen on which someone is bleating something about fantasy teams (I'll risk being flamed right here- people who are into Fantasy Football to the extent that this guy is are just one step up the food chain from basement-dwelling "gamers." Seriously, grow up, losers.) That dangerously detached moron seems perfectly happy strolling through life gazing witlessly at monitors of varying sizes while insisting that everyone in his immediate vicinity listen in on his stupid obsession.

And at least he isn't the "yay Cloud" woman in the airport who convinces her husband to play "Celebrity Probation" on his laptop. Iron Man 2 isn't that good, but "Celebrity Probation?"

All breaks are revoked if it turns out that the reason why it's taking this guy eight hours and three time zones to watch a 90-minute film is because he keeps pausing to check on the status of his Fantasy Football Team, or is just dividing his time between Iron Man 2 and Celebrity Probation.

1 comment:

  1. Verizon needs to be honest with itself about this whole FIOS situation. Since FIOS was first released I have lived in 4 different places and FIOS was not available in any of them. Maybe they should worry more about actually having their product available to at least 50% of people and less about selling me on a feature that is part of every television providers service at this point. Also, I cannot believe people actually still pay for On-Demand movies. If anyone who visits this fine blog would like to get with the times and learn how to download any movie, TV show, or music for free and before it is available on-demand let me know and I will school you. And no I am not talking about virus ridden Limewire.