Sunday, March 6, 2011

Goodnight, Humility

The disgusting thing about this commercial is that for roughly 25 seconds, it seems to be a badly-needed and much-welcome farewell to conspicuous consumption-- that the idea of surrounding yourself with stupid, pointless luxuries designed only to impress people with your vast wealth is sooooo yesterday, thank goodness we have finally moved beyond it.

Just as we are letting go of our suspicion and (ok, only kidding- I never had the slightest doubt while watching this rubbish that I was about to get hit by a sledgehammer of Show Everyone You've Got Yours) are beginning to think that maybe this is a commercial with a fine message, the camera takes us outside. And we feel like we've been conned.

Because the REAL message of this nasty little pile of crud is that the days of HIDING your ability to go overboard with your spending are what is over- spending buckets of money on bells and whistles designed to impress people you don't know is alive and well. It's just gone mobile- no longer do you have to sit inside your palatial suburban estate worried that not enough people know you've managed to fill it with shiny clutter (I mean, you can only throw so many parties.) Now you can take your message of "get the fuck out of the way, and admire my utter disdain for budgeting, you plebes" on the road. Just be sure to consult your onboard GPS, change DVDs, and do all the other things made possible by your Superior Car and it's Money is Meant to be Spent owner constantly, because you never know who is trying to catch a glance at your Successmobile.

It used to be that evidence of overspending was mostly hidden behind brick walls and behind garden gates. Now it's portable, a moving billboard of excess to be marveled at by the Great Unwashed among us (you know, those of us who are just trying to pay our bills and put a little money aside here and there in the hopes of retiring someday.) Yes, this is MUCH better.


  1. The people of Comics Curmudgeon would probably measure the dickishness of a person who'd buy the car being advertised in a unit called a michaelpatterson; that's because I can see The Delicate Genius driving to get his coffee milkshake in one of these tubes.

  2. The difference is that Michael Patterson would get his at a super-deep discount- practically free, in fact, from the people at Mayes Motors, who after all are so in his debt because he honors them with his presence and the fact that his parents are John and Elly Patterson, without whom None Of This Would Be Possible.

  3. a Republican businessman, a Tea Party member and a union worker are all sitting at a table when a plate with a dozen cookies arrives.

    Before anyone else can make a move, the businessman reaches out and rakes in eleven of the cookies.

    When the other two look at him in surprise, the businessman says to the Tea Partier "you better watch that union guy. He wants a piece of your cookie."

    That eleven cookie snatching businessman was the target audience for this ad.

  4. Trouble is that the Tea Partier is gonna believe the cookie thief.