Thursday, March 24, 2011

I didn't see this in your E-Harmony Profile....

I understand that there's an App you can get which allows you to have phony calls sent to your cell phone when you want to get out of meetings or otherwise need an excuse to just. Leave. Now.

The guy in this commercial would be a great customer for such a service. Because ten seconds after entering his date's apartment, the small talk about how many brothers she has degenerates into a cringe-worthy episode of watching this Suddenly Insane Woman Act Like A Total Fool With Her Dog.

"Who do we love? We love our bank! We love our bank! We LOVE our bank! We love our bank!!" Seriously?

And all this understandably creeped-out guy can think is "I guess you really love your bank?" Frankly, I don't think I would have even noticed what she was saying. I would have been too paralyzed with disgust that this weirdo had apparently spent a great deal of time training her dog to react to repetitive baby-talk from the lunatic who feeds it and takes it for walks (to the BANK, no doubt.) And that this woman is so out of touch that she thinks this is a side of her that she wants to reveal in what sure seems to be a first date situation. Hey lady, ever take a really good look at yourself? This just MAY be why you have so many First Dates!

Just saying....


  1. Well, at least copywriters are consistent; no matter what the product being hawked, the same low opinion of the intelligence and mental stability of the average taxpayer shines through.

  2. You won't see behavior like this on e-harmony or any of those other websites! There's a clause or a list of explicit instructions that tell the user not to display this behavior till at least date four. By then, you've either slept with her or at least done some serious heavy-petting with the allusion to something more, so you're more likely to stick around.

    Or am I overestimating a single man's desperation to get laid?

  3. No, fourth date sounds about right.

    Of course, at the Orthodox School I teach at, "fourth date" is often referred to as "Second Anniversary." :>)