Thursday, March 3, 2011

Let's Start "Americans Against Bitching Constantly About Everything"

I could spend the entire post making fun of this woman, who I have no doubt flunked the screen test for "Americans Against Food Taxes," "Americans Against Gas Taxes" and "Americans Against Seat Belts" commercials, but that would be mean-spirited.

So let's focus on the kids instead. Jeeeeeeesshh, who are these people? Relatives of the producer?

The woman We Won't Be Picking On Today tells us that even without Debit Card taxes (or whatever the hell it is we're protesting nowadays, it's really hard to keep up) her family is hard to feed on a tight budget- "especially with HIS appetite." Get a load of that grin on the boy's face- this has got to be the first teen-ager in the history of television to be shown appreciating his mom's sense of humor- and she didn't even say anything funny!

Then it gets strange- Daughter turns over a carton of OJ. Her response is to cry out "I'm ok!" Umm..what? Does this girl have a habit of hurting herself while attempting to put away groceries? "I'm ok?" What does that even MEAN?

And the response of her brother is just classic- what the heck IS that noise that comes out of his stupid, grinning mouth? Did the sound sync get screwed up? Because that does not seem like the kind of sound we should hear coming out of a teen-aged boy. Is it a giggle, a chuckle, a laugh, or some weird hybrid of all three? And if so- what is he laughing at? Why is the spilled juice, followed by Sister's panicked cry, something to snigger at? What the heck?

All this is still running through my mind as the commercial fades to black, and I barely catch the name of the Americans Against Paying Anything organization funding this mess. But does that really matter? The real point isn't the Whine of the Month. It's the non-effort made by the writers and the actors in this pointless, confusing little lump of an ad. I can only conclude that ad men have awesome job security to feel comfortable turning out glurge like this. And that I chose the wrong profession.


  1. before I even read your post I watched the commercial and was like... the fuck is this??? the girl yells I'm ok when dropping orange juice...

    nice review and I agree completely

  2. Next time I break something or get in a car accident I'm going to use that one. "I'm OK... no need to fret over the front end of your 6 month old car... I'm OK"....

    Maybe Ma should consider buying her paper towel in bulk as opposed to getting the single use guy. Maybe that would help the budget. I also love how they always feel necessary to shoe horn in the sibling rivalry, brother/sister hatred. Because who can't identify with that point that has nothing to do with the message of the commercial.

  3. I think it was you and me who once said we'd form a group called PANE -- People Against Nearly Everything.

    You wonder who got the benefit of that Congressional action you cite?

    The same rich people to whom you provide de facto support when you vote against unions and complain about "Obamacare", while those same rich people pay you less for your work, waste your tax dollars on subsidies for businesses that don't need them, and force you into longer hours and unsafe conditions while you complain about "too much government regulation."

  4. I'm a parent of teens (and one over 21) and this made no sense to me at all.

    Personally, I like how she smirked at her son for taking a banana. Maybe she would have been less judgmental of his eating habits if he picked up a Hot Pocket or that bag of chips that appears to be in the bag he was carrying.

    "Oh, teen-agers!" *exaggerated shrug*

  5. Seriously, Pahz. Next thing you know, that kid will be taking an APPLE!! Will he NEVER stop gorging himself?

    Looks like these kids consume a lot of fruit and orange juice. Why can't they be more like those kids in the other commercials, who seem to live on sodas and "juice drinks?"