Monday, March 14, 2011
It's Not Funny, How we don't Talk Anymore
These commercials would be mildly amusing if we didn't know that the situations depicted are the future according to cell phone companies. This is what they want- nobody actually interacting except through their phones, much more texting than talking, the bastardization of the English language into a dumbed-down version more "suitable" for texting (George Orwell's Newspeak coming to a home near you, before you know it, and don't even try to fight back against it,) and anyone who complains being painted as the shrewish harpy who Just Doesn't Get It.
We're used to the kids being total "Oh fuck off, mom, I'm busy" dickweeds, so that's not really all that "funny" anymore. But what could be MORE ROTFLMAO than GRANDMA texting away and talking back to her daughter in teenspeak? (I couldn't bring myself to read the YouTube comments. I'm sure this commercial is EPIC with that crowd.)
So take a good look at your future, America: Everyone you know, bent over their cell phones, texting away and acting really annoyed and put-out should you make any effort in engaging them in conversation. The Big Phone Bill excuse is no longer a valid reason to try to steer your family from something other than using their damned phones (oh the horror!) because our Helpful Phone Companies now provide Unlimited Talk and Text. So it's all on you- if you question the need to play with these little toys constantly, you're going to have to be the Big Heavy, discussing lame things like Family Time and Addictive Behavior. What a bring down. Be prepared to have your status as your son's 1,178th Facebook Friend threatened.
Yes, we have seen the future. And man, is it ugly. But at least it doesn't come with a big phone bill.