Saturday, March 19, 2011

When you can't take your eye off the UPS guy, that's Logistics?

I can't be the only person out there who finds this commercial more than just a little bit creepy.

As usual, we've got "employees" (I put that in quotation marks, because the term usually means "workers," and we see absolutely no work being done by either of these guys) just passing the time sitting at their desks, not even pretending to be productive in the slightest. One them is even in the "hands behind head, feet up, exaggerated I've Got Absolutely Nothing To Do And No Concern That The Boss Will Be Walking Past Anytime Soon" pose. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, here we have two stellar examples of the Most Productive Workforce on the Planet.

Mr. Relaxed is SO comfortable, in fact, that he's willing to admit that he's daydreaming about the UPS guy. "You see Ben, I see Logistics" he muses. If his friend knew he was seeing "logistics" in slow motion, I think he might request a new desk location.

Meanwhile, the only guy in the ad doing any work at all- the poor On Display UPS guy, acknowledges that he's well aware that he's been ogled throughout the entire ad with a smile and "see you tomorrow, guys." Like a female secretary of the 1950s, he knows that being admired and commented on from afar by better-paid men as they sit on their fat duffs is just part of the job. Don't despair, Ben. In this progressive nation, it's only a matter of time before the law forces guys like this to afford you the treatment you deserve; it's only a matter of time before these guys are dragged into sensitivity classes to be told that you are NOT some shiny trinket to be gawked at whenever you show up with your package (sorry, couldn't resist.)

Back on point, however- this guy looks at Ben, and sees "logistics." Ben looks back, and sees "witless, lazy slacker- no wonder this business can't keep up with China." I don't quite get how "logistics" is the cure for workers who would rather daydream than work, but I'm no economics expert.


  1. I can't help thinking that all this "logistics" talk is a weak cover for the serious crush this non-working employee has on UPS Ben. Poor Ben, it must be awkward to have this guy leering at him whenever he makes a delivery to this no doubt failing company.

  2. "What the hell are you staring at?"

    "Ben. Ummm...I mean, Logistics! Yeah, that's it, I'm thinking about the company!"

  3. "Speaking of logistics, why do you have a UPS pick-up scheduled for every day of the week? Wouldn't it be more efficient to bundle them into fewer pick-ups?"

    "But then I wouldn't get to see BEN every day! Er, I mean, it's not as good logistically. Somehow." ;)

  4. Back when I worked at a small-ish factory, I made sure my "supply refill" time coincided with the UPS delivery guy. I even laughed at the awful joke he made about my name (it's similar to a celebrity name- okay, exactly like a celebrity's name, just spelled different).

    I really liked our "logistics department".

    I'm sorry, I forgot where I was going with this...

  5. So, 'logistics' is code for homoeroticism now. Good to know.