Friday, February 17, 2012

Come and get me,!

Here's another "service" I wish I had come up with. As near as I can tell, it promises to seek out negative reviews on the internet and surgically remove them, leaving nothing but praise, rainbows, puppies and unicorns behind. Well, why not? Anyone who expects anything approaching accuracy on the web probably deserves what he gets.

This "service" removes "malicious reviews" like "I had a bad experience" and "slander" like "he's arrogant." Wow, I hope nobody tries to comment on the quality of this doctor's waiting room magazines- he'd probably find himself up on charges.

It's not mentioned explicitly, but I imagine that must promise to be constantly at war with sites like Angie's List, which are clearing houses for nitpicking, peevish, "the monkey I hired didn't jump quite high enough," potentially career-gutting reviews. (I can imagine the woman who's "favorite plumber" agreed to walk her Pekinese around the block until "her business has been taken care of" is quick to post nasty screeds against the electrician who refused to do that pile of dirty dishes on his own time.) Or that company which claims to provide instant background checks ( on everyone you've ever met.

What is never explained is how this "service" goes about weeding out the truly malicious, FALSE posts and leaving the perfectly accurate- but negative- comments intact. Do we really think that the good people at respond to "malicious" posts by tracking down and interviewing the poster, then fact-checking with the subject of the post, to determine it's accuracy? Hardly. In fact, it's strongly implied that sees it's job as removing any mention of the customer that doesn't praise his ability to walk on water.

So "" is probably not the most accurate name for this "service," which seems dedicated to nothing short of removing anything that is not a glowing review from the internet. (Maybe "" would be better?) And now that I've typed this, I'll sit back and see how successful the company is in removing this bad review from the web.


  1. It's always amusing that disservices like this exist in the world. Instead of not being jerks, the average mortal can pay through the noise to get these imbeciles to lie for him. It's as if it's every man a Santorum.

  2. I noticed the same thing about, and other services -- they started by saying they can help remove false information about you, and moved to saying they can remove any negative information about you. Presumably that means that these companies will help even if the "negative" information about you is true.

  3. *facepalm* Just what the oversensitive, whiny, thin-skinned citizens of America need, a service to get rid of all the mean, nasty things poopyheads say about them.

  4. "And now that I've typed this, I'll sit back and see how successful the company is in removing this bad review from the web."

    It's still here.

  5. Giving select local businesses a free pass to treat unfavored customers like shit and abuse their unfavored employees to boot.