Saturday, February 4, 2012

Samsung's Depressing two minutes of hate



I'm sorry, but watching a group of greasy twenty-somethings high-five each other as they "create cool things" with their phones and wax poetic about how "productive" they are - keeping a straight face the whole time- just left me feeling sad and more than a little sick.

These grunge-wannabees blather on and on- and ON- about how their amazing Samsung phones allow them to steal art (at no time is the suggestion made that the artist was sought out, asked permission to use his creation, and offered a cut of future profits) and then manipulate that art (which probably has some solemn, important message to the artist, we'll never know for sure) to become a trademarked character in yet another brain-sucking, time-wasting video game. There's a lot of talk about the "creative process," which apparently involves nothing more than selecting which virtual crayon to use to apply shading to the Now Belongs to Us artwork. Some of the talk is done around what looks to be a conference table- which makes it all very businesslike and serious, I guess. Doesn't work for me- because after all, these choads all look like they need clues and baths more than they need to be patronized as "creative geniuses."

Anyway, the punchline for this lukewarm bowl of swill is that the gang of college graduates with Nowhere Else to Go and thousands of dollars in student loans to pay off has managed to add Downloadable Game # 345,098 to the App Store, all because 1) they own these cool phones, and 2) legitimately creative people out there are providing free, easily poachable art. And that this deserves a round of ridiculous self-congratulation.

Hey, who says America doesn't produce anything of value anymore? Let the rest of the world build cars, bullet trains and solar panels- this country will ALWAYS be the world's leader in developing new phones (not building them, however- that's a job better suited for Chinese pre-teens.) And the next generation of smug, self-important, phone-addicted slackers with greasy hair and no visible reason for being? We've got that market cornered, too. USA! USA!

6 comments:

  1. I'm...completely non-plussed. I've seen more finely rendered graphics done on MS Paint and the game idea, defend your crops from robots, make me want to yawn and roll my eyes. Ripping off graffiti and calling that work brasses me off because, a) you're ripping off someone's work (finding the artist and getting their permission could be difficult, but they seem oblivious to the concept of use with permission and that's the problem) and b) talking like they're actually working. So what if you can doodle on it during a meeting? Oh, yeah, you're *really* working. I predict Glow will go under in short order.

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  2. These people remind me of that crowd of wistful, self-important dopes who all thought that they were going to become internet millionaires in the late-90s by creating the Perfect Website, and ended up back in their parents' basements because they never bothered to learn the skills which would have qualified them to do actual, paying work. I just wish they would all wander in front of speeding trains while staring at their fricking phones and make the world a slightly lighter, but far less annoying, place to live.

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    1. Exactly like the idealistic dot com hopefuls of the 90s. What, getting rich takes *time* and *work*?!?! Dude, TV never mentioned that! xp The younger generations entering the workplace in the past ten years or so have had trouble understanding why they can't take a vacation a few months after starting somewhere, and they expect to rise quickly in the ranks. Great job their education did, preparing them for the real world. NOT!

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    2. Check out any cell phone or beer commercial featuring an office setting today- "work" involves doing anything but- taco parties, blathering about weekend plans, using office computers to update fantasy teams, etc. are what constitutes a "work day." You really want to see someone walk in and announce "all your jobs have been shipped to Pakistan, don't bother coming in tomorrow" and hear the "this is so unfair" whining from the slackers suddenly cut loose from what had amounted to endless paid vacations.

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  3. I guess they ran out of time before they could get around telling us how this all "Revolutionizes the way we live." Because I don't see a whole lot of "living" going on here, and I sure as hell don't see anything I'd call "Revolutionary."

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    1. In any sort of useful revolution, dullards like this would be what they're supposed to be: cannon fodder.

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