Saturday, February 25, 2012

"If you follow this by criticizing my towel-folding skills, I am really going to lose it, honey!"

Here's another Just for Fun blast from the past I happened to run across while watching an old episode of Mystery Science Theater and trying to write up some history notes (hey, I've been working diligently for almost twenty minutes, I can take a break!)

This commercial for Dawn Dish Washing Liquid dates from the early 1990s and features two of our favorite characters from the world of advertising. We've got clueless dad, who doesn't know what he's doing because he doesn't do it the way Mommy does, and So Precocious We Hope She Doesn't Ever Ever Change cutesy wittle girl, who has been watching Mommy practice her Craft (cleaning up after Daddy and the Little Blessing) so carefully, she has mastered the Steps to Perfectly Clean Dishes. Anyone want to bet this little girl is NOT a full partner at some prominent law firm nowadays?

Because twenty years ago men in tv ads were allowed to show a small modicum of brain power and common sense (or at least, ability to mentally embed slogans like "Dawn takes Grease out of your Way",) Daddy knows that missing a glass isn't the horrible disaster Daughter seems to think it is. He dips it into the greasy hot water (I don't know, I still wouldn't do this) and demonstrates to his little girl that every once in a while, dad can still get it right. (After all, it's not the 21st century yet.)

Naturally however the commercial must end with daughter letting daddy know that 1) Mommy never says "ewwwwww" (isn't daughter old enough to understand that Daddy is not Mommy? I wish he'd respond with "Yeah, well DADDY never says 'I'm leaving you with the kid tonight so I can meet my boyfriend for drinks, either!" ) and 2) he put the glass back in the "wrong" place (jeeeesshhh, really? What's wrong with where he put it? What kind of police state is Mommy running here?)

The Hi-LARIOUS punchline is "Gee, I thought your mother was tough." Come on, dad. This girl is old enough for the truth. Please reply with something like "this is why you hear all that shouting downstairs every night. And why you don't have brothers or sisters. And why mommy wasn't home for dinner again. Because Mommy is as anal as you are, and Daddy's reached his breaking point."

Anyway, I hope you like this little nugget from the archives. Sometimes it's good to be reminded that Stupidity on Television wasn't invented three years ago. And just because the ability to snark on commercials to a world wide audience wasn't available to poor slobs like me in 1991 doesn't mean they should get a pass, does it?


  1. Mommy never says "ewww!" because no one has has the balls to tell mommy to her face just how bad her pork roast is.

  2. Why don't they just hand a sign saying 'STUPIDHEAD' from Daddy's neck? It'd save time and they could get right to pretending one brand of soap is somehow 'better' than another.

  3. If this were the Patterson household, Mommy would come in at the end, roll her eyes, and groan "never mind, I'll never ask you to do the dishes again. Now I have to do them all over again." And we'd see a black cloud digitally imposed over her head.