Monday, September 24, 2012

Never mind "Neutering." Ask her to explain the economics of leasing a freaking BMW.

Ok, let me see if I understand this: Mommy wants to get the family pet neutered. Good for her- very socially responsible, and all that. She lives in a community which has a generic Neutering R Us, I guess, because it's pretty clear she's never been to the place she's going to take that family pet. Let's cut her some slack and assume she's checked it out on Angie's List, or it's been recommended by neighbors, or something. Mommy is taking the Creepy Little Copy of herself she and Daddy made along for the ride to have this surgical procedure done on the dog. CLC puts on her most affected, cutesy face and reads her one line- "Mommy, what is Neu-ter-ing?"

Mommy isn't into the whole Teachable Moment thing, so she just sits there like a freaking zombie, a bit overwhelmed by CLC's precociousness. Or maybe, Mommy doesn't know what Neu-ter-ing is, either. In any case, wouldn't it be a great time for Mommy to say something like "it's when a doctor helps our dog be healthier and happier. I hope you ask the doctor what it's all about, and why it's important?"

Here's where it gets really stupid, never mind that it's a punchline we saw coming from at least ten seconds away. The dog jumps out of the car and runs off. The dog, you see, knows what Neu-ter-ing means. Which means that the dog is more literate than CLC. I get that commercials often require as suspension of disbelief, but when it takes place shouldn't it have a bigger payoff than THIS banal little lump of dreck? Come to think of it, maybe Mommy really DOESN'T know what Neu-ter-ing means. After all, we already see that she's too stupid to find Quick Snip And Release on her own. Plus, she's shelling out what some people pay for a small apartment every month on a car she'll be giving right back to the dealer in three years.

Hey, Daughter? You might want to direct this and any future questions to someone with a few more IQ points than Mommy. I suggest you try the dog, once you get him back in the Google-equipped BMW.

8 comments:

  1. There's also the fact that they seem to give the girl some kind of British accent, just to make her even more cutsie, in a "Village of the Damned" sort of way, despite the fact that she is obviously American, since the vehicle is left-hand drive and her mother shows no sign of an accent. Unless that's not her mother, but just the mind-controlled thrall that she is currently using in her eternal journey across the world for souls.

    Additionally, why would they wait until the dog is well into its adult years to get snipped? It's something that's normally done as soon as they are old enough to handle the surgery, either by the adopting family, if they got it as a puppy, or by the shelter as soon as it was picked up.

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    1. Don't make too many assumptions. I'd be willing to bet that this commercial is of German origin. The little girl has a German accent, the mother says very little, Germans drive on the right side of the road, BMW is headquartered in Munich, and I can EASILY see "Generic Dog Neutering" being placed in a commercial where English is the second language. Just my .02

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  2. Good points, especially about the dog- maybe the Neighborhood Association finally informed this woman that her dog had bestowed enough "gifts" to the community, and while we all love gazing at her gleaming BMW, it's time to either fix the dog or find a new place to live.

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  3. I also think that the insistent stare Creepy Little Copy gives her mom after asking about Neu-ter-ing is totally Village of the Damned. Not to mention mommy's near-petrified response. Man, I think about this stuff too much.

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    1. Not as much as blackferret64. ;D

      The dog's age was the first thing to strike me. Why the heck did they wait so long to have him neutered?

      I'll cut the mom a little slack on her hesitation to explain neutering to her daughter, but there's no reason it couldn't/shouldn't have been explained to the girl before the drive to the vet's office.

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  4. Oh, I know! The dog is the girl's hellhound familiar. The "mother" is trying to get it neutered in order to prevent it from mating and creating the hellhound army that the demonic girl is trying to create. Her "What is neu-ter-ing?" question is clearly meant in a "I got you" sense, as the mother forgot that the message would show up on the car display. You can clearly see the look of fear and dismay on the "mother's" face as she is found out. The girl's quick sideways glance at the dog a signal for it to run into the house to kill the baby as punishment for the "mother's" attempt a treachery.

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  5. The local version of this ad tells us that you can lease this car for $459 per month for three years, $2999 due at signing. That's almost $20,000 to rent a LookAtMeMobile and then give it right back to the dealer (assuming you haven't put any scratches on it or otherwise violated the lease agreement,) which will turn around and sell it to someone with a bit more economic common sense.

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  6. What I find difficult to believe is that in this day and age, Cutsie Fakey British Child wouldn't have suspicions as to what neutering is. Everywhere you look, you have someone telling us to control the pet population by having this done so it must have occurred that when Cybermommy and Lobotodad were talking about altering Rover, something was going to change about him to make him no longer able to be a daddy doggy.

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