I can see how the Woodford Way would lead to a long, lasting, meaningful relationship

"When I see a man drinking bourbon, I think 'there's a guy who knows how to build a bookshelf.  And not just a bookshelf-kit IKEA type bookshelf.  I mean, this is a guy who already knows where the lumberyard is.  Probably because it's next to the bar, but he knows where the lumberyard is.  Making him a man.  A man who likes to work with lumber and drink alcohol, which to me is just an awesome combination."

"Speaking of awesome combinations, he's also a guy who lets me use the saw, and thinks it's cute that I don't know how to use the saw.  Yes, that means exactly the way it sounds- it means he thinks it's cute when I endanger myself playing with a very sharp instrument.  I bet he'd really giggle if I drew blood, I'm such a silly girl I can't even manage to handle something he can operate while drinking bourbon.  He's so amazing, he makes me swoon."

"So I guess what I'm saying here is, I really, really like guys who drink whiskey and can build bookcases.  Because drunk and handy with tools, that's just so hot.  I really have to remember to add that to my eHarmony profile- 'Seeking Guy Who Likes To Get Drunk Quickly And Then Operate The Saw and Let Me Operate it Too.  There's got to be a lot of people who fit that description, and I'm sure they are all really nice."

"I bet he'd make a good soulmate, too.  I mean, what more could a girl want?"