Wednesday, November 12, 2014

LegalZoom's heartwarming tribute to Capitalism

"My mom made the BEST toffee ever.  She'd make it on cold winter days as a very special treat- I can still remember coming home from school and finding a plate on it on the kitchen table and how happy it made me to eat it while drinking a glass of milk and telling mom all about my day....

And when I got older, I would help Mom make her toffee for holiday gift baskets, it was so much fun to make batch after batch and break it up and put it into gaily decorated boxes and hand them out to the mailman and the gas man and the sitter and my teachers at school, they all loved my Mom's toffee so very much...

And all along, my dream was that someday my Mom would kick off and leave me the recipe, so I could turn the recipe that had been passed down through five generations going back to the old country into a business employing six people at minimum wage and earning me some serious coin after the second year, once the industrial toffee-pulling machine had been paid off allowing me to can those teenagers I allowed to 'intern' with me during their summer before starting college.....

And then I achieved the larger vision in my dream, shutting down my local operation and moving the whole enterprise to Singapore, where it now employs 200 11-year olds making $600 a year under the supervision of very reasonably priced overseers.  Once I replaced the cane sugar with corn sugar (sugar is sugar!) and added an amazing array of artificial colors and flavors, the money REALLY began to roll in!

Every once in a while, I even whip up a batch of my Mom's Now Famous Toffee- it almost tastes like the crap I sold 4.5 million boxes of in 86 countries last year!  Thanks, Legal Zoom, for making my dream come true!

Oh, and thanks, Mom, wherever you are!

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