Friday, November 21, 2014

"I'm so glad I married you instead of adopting you!"

"She's still the one for you" (because the babysitter won't give you the time of day.)

"And she reminds you every day" (that you live in a shared-property state and you'll lose half your wealth in the settlement if you let your eye wander a little too far.  Sorry, buddy- you bought her, you're keeping her.  Another divorce would just cost a bit too much.)

I know I've done this before- but seriously, could they please make just ONE Cialis commercial which features a guy who WASN'T born during the Kennedy Administration married to a woman who WASN'T born during Carter Administration?

I mean, I guess this is kind of a public service to the women out there- yeah, he's got money, yeah, he can give you a nice house- but guess what?  His libido is going to go long before yours is.  Better talk to your doctor about slipping these pills into his Metamucil- I mean, if you want to keep having sex with him, that is.

And hey, there's still all that money and that nice house.

1 comment:

  1. Kennedy-Carter? In the case of some of these couples, it's probably more like Eisenhower-Reagan. And possibly not Reagan's first term, either.

    I too was a Kennedy Administration baby, and here's the little guideline I use to avoid making a fool over myself getting excited over some man who's too young for me. I ask myself "Is he old enough to remember cigarette commercials?" If not, I'm probably robbing the cradle.